Late Morning Lullabye
by defying3reason
Summary: Piper and Trickster pursue a relationship while negotiating careers as criminals with a stressed out nemesis. In this chapter: James runs away.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is the second fic in a larger story arc. The previous segments are White Light and Pavement Cracks, and whereas reading them (and reviewing!) isn't a bad idea, I'm leaning on the canon as structure enough so that hopefully it isn't really necessary. To start this section, we're in the silver age/bronze age, the Rogues are fully formed but contending with power struggles between Cold and Top, Piper and Trickster have just secretly started dating, and some drama has arisen around their crime doctor, Dr. Kendra._

* * *

Piper got out of bed and jogged into his living room to adjust the thermostat for his apartment. While doing so, some unfamiliar teal and zebra print throw pillows caught his eye. He blinked a few times before making a slow walk around the room, counting off things he didn't remember being moved in.

'Throw pillows, Robert Crumb coffee table book, lava lamp, framed Tom and Jerry cells, three video game systems, wait…' Piper bent over his entertainment center. "That's not my TV."

"Your TV sucked!" James called from the bedroom.

Piper walked to the doorway and folded his arms over his chest. "I should charge you rent. You've practically moved in. How'd you do that without me noticing?"

James shrugged. "You're easily distracted by sex?"

"True." Piper smirked. "We need to talk about the decorating scheme. I had Earth tones going for the living room. Your accents make it look schizophrenic."

"So we'll get a slip cover for the couch, and it's not hard to find a good coffee table-"

"James, that's _my_ furniture."

"Right, the ugly stuff." James reached over and tugged Piper back into bed. He curled up against Piper, a blissful smile on his face. "Whaddya want for breakfast Pookie?"

"We can skip breakfast if you agree to never call me Pookie again."

"No deal."

Piper frowned as a thought struck him. "We had our first date just before Kendra was attacked, right?"

"Yep."

"And we've done one shift protecting her-"

"Your shift." James said with a nod. "I traded mine off to Mick."

"And we've got her again tomorrow."

"For your second shift." James finished.

Piper groaned. "You've slept over every night since we started dating, and it's been almost two weeks!"

James yawned, and nuzzled against Piper's neck. "I can pitch in on rent. M'not giving up my place though…Piper? You okay?"

"Yes, fine-"

"Sweetie, I'm not that dense, I'm just joking. I can move some of my shit back and give you some space. I just didn't think I was bothering you." He sat up, regarding Piper with an expression much more serious than suited the Trickster.

"You're not bothering me."

"Then what's the problem? I, for one, am blissfully happy. I wanna make you happy too." James reached up and prodded the corners of Piper's mouth into an imitation of a smile with his finger tips. Piper rolled away, laughing.

"I am happy James." He insisted. 'Why shouldn't I be?' The universe had dropped a gorgeous young lover into his lap, and surprisingly, James was content with him, the real him. Piper hadn't felt the need to put on airs, he didn't downplay his music obsession, the obnoxious leftism, or even the budding paranoia…James rolled with all of it.

Then again, for the music there was James' obsession with toys, and for Piper's erratic behavior James had plenty of his own eccentricities to match. 'Damn budding paranoia.' Piper thought.

"So what's wrong?" James pressed. "You're all broody. D'ya want me to be less smothering?"

"I'm actually fond of your passion…I guess I just worry more than you."

"Yep." James agreed without hesitation. "But I can work on cheering you up. You know you like smiling."

"I just don't trust it. Good things don't happen to me very often. Plus you're an untrustworthy bastard."

"Yeah, there is that." James snorted. He leaned up on his elbow and regarded Piper with a bright smile. "I've never taken it up the ass for a con before. That make you feel better?"

"No, but that's my own dysfunction."

James rolled his eyes, but pulled Piper to him for a renewed effort at morning-snuggles. Piper complied, tucking his head under James' chin and sliding his arms around his waist. "So Pookie, you should see if Mick'll take your Kendra-sitting shift too. I lied before when I said I could be less smothering. I totally can't."

"Yeah, no. So we're supposed to do a heist with the guys in a few days. Do you think it'll be weird?"

"What, because we're sleeping together? Nah, I've worked with love interests before. So've you."

"Mm, but when I worked with Earl I didn't have a homophobic audience."

"Has Roscoe been harassing you?" James asked, shifting back into serious-mode alarmingly quickly.

Piper frowned. "No more so than usual, well, since word got out that I was gay anyway." Thanks to Len and the traditional alcohol-saturated Rogues poker nights, the ambiguity surrounding Piper's preferences had evaporated. "I just don't want to give him any reason to step it up," Piper continued. "It's not just my sexuality…he's such a conservative, and I'm a devout liberal-"

"Socialist bastard. Lucky you're so hot." James teased. "So Top's being an asshole and you're worried?"

"That's the meat of it. I mean, what if he does take over and force Cold out? Where does that leave us?"

"We leave." James said simply. "Hey, don't panic. I'm adaptable, and the two of us can totally take the guys. We'd own Central and Keystone in a month. Fuck 'em."

Piper smiled, actually starting to feel better. "Thanks. I'll have to make a mental note to keep talking to you about things that bother me."

"Please do."

* * *

"You're being ridiculous!"

"And you're sleeping with me anyway. How dumb are you?"

"James, get down!" Piper's voice unintentionally took on an edge that typically accompanied hypnotic command. For a moment he was worried he'd accidentally altered his boyfriend's free will, but was quickly comforted by James not giving an inch.

Almost literally. He was floating gracefully above the living room on the house slipper model of his airwalkers. There was the occasional dip from his balancing, but Piper wouldn't guess he'd shifted a full inch downwards at any point.

"I'm getting the broom."

"Okay Pookie. You know I don't actually believe you'll stab me with the broom handle, so it's not much of a threat." James said.

"You're the one who doesn't want to come out yet! I honestly don't care, but if you want to stay closeted then you need to leave!"

"Kendra knows we're friends. It's cool, friends hang."

"Kendra also knows I'm gay, and she's smart enough to notice when someone is spending far too much time with their gay best friend to only be friends."

"Don't think for a second that your logic is going to make me behave. Pi-per, I don't wanna leave! All my cool stuff is here…and I made that really yummy pie for dessert tonight, and besides Mick will totally take your shift too if you ask."

"Yeah, I've noticed that. Do you think something's going on with them?" Piper asked.

James kicked his airwalkers off and slowly floated back down to the ground. "What makes you say that? Kendra already said she wouldn't date a customer, I mean, that's why Len didn't ask her out."

"Kay, I noticed Cold had a crush, but I didn't think he was actually going to talk to her." Piper looked amused. "Did you hear about how he tried to propose to that newspaper reporter? Poor Len, he's not terribly suave."

"No, he gets nervous easily because he expects to be rejected." James quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you'd be more sympathetic and less evil about it."

"Well, of course, but the story with that West woman is just funny. I mean he had a comeback prepared for 'not if you were the last man on Earth'."

"You don't really think Kendra's hooking up with Mick, do you?" James asked, worried.

"It…seems like it. They have a fair bit of chemistry."

"Great, just fucking fantastic!" He kicked his shoes back on and started pacing about a foot above the coffee table.

"Calm down James, this has actually happened before. The last time Mick and Len competed for the same girl they got a little aggressive towards each other for awhile but were humbled when their fighting made them easier targets for Flash. It's not a big deal."

"That was when they were trying to kidnap a TV star who never had a chance of returning interest in either of them!" James pointed out. "If Kendra's _actually_ sweet on Mick then Len's gonna flip! Plus…geeze Piper, Len was talking to me about Kendra while I was talking to him about you. It's not just an infatuation. He actually likes her. He could get hurt."

Piper froze. "You talked to Len about me? Len Snart? Captain Cold?"

"Yeah."

Piper picked up one of the hideous throw pillows and hucked it at James' head. "_Why_?"

"Ida know, because we're friends and he doesn't seem to mind people being gay." James caught the pillow and tossed it back onto the couch. "I do consider him a friend Piper. If this bitch hurts his feelings, talented doctor or no, I'm gonna make her regret it. There are classier ways to let a guy down than to sleep with his rival behind his back."

"Yeah…that'd actually be the opposite of class, I think." Piper frowned. "Well, her house should be finished soon, and with the increased security measures we shouldn't have to do anymore Kendra sitting. Maybe this will all blow over."

"I hope so." James landed softly on the floor and went to retrieve his jacket and a bag of stuff they'd deemed too distinctly Trickster-ish to leave around the apartment while Piper had a guest. Piper stood by the door, waiting for a goodbye kiss.

"Hey Piper, you could really simplify this whole thing by, y'know…" He mimicked playing a flute. "…changing her tune, so to speak?"

Piper's eyes narrowed. "That is a terrible suggestion."

"What? Len's a good guy, and apparently she's a miserable bitch. He'd treat her way better than she deserves."

"James, are you honestly suggesting I should hypnotize Kendra into having feelings for Len when she clearly has them for Mick?" Piper asked.

James sighed. "Yeah, I know it's not right…but you gotta admit, it would be easier." He leaned over for a quick kiss before taking his leave of the apartment.

* * *

Halfway through Piper's shift with Kendra they got a call informing them her house was all set. Piper drove her over, and the two inspected the contractors' work.

"The security's much better than it had been, I'll give it that. But I still think those booby traps Trickster designed are going to be more of an annoyance than an asset." Kendra ran her hand along an almost invisible seam in the wood paneling of her entryway. There were glue pies and slinkie lassos hidden, waiting to capture prowlers…or uncoordinated house guests who stumbled along the wrong sensors.

"I've been cocooned in yo-yo string before. It doesn't take that long to cut someone free." Piper said dismissively. He removed a panel from the living room wall, revealing Kendra's new panic room, and crawled inside to poke around. "The good thing about Tricks' designs is if you do catch a guest inadvertently you don't have to worry about them dying."

"The Kool-Aid stains though…" Kendra frowned. "Oh well. I guess I'll just be giving Gambi more business."

Piper fiddled with the new emergency phone line a moment longer before crawling back out into the living room and packing up his mini-tool kit. "This all looks good. We've got a direct line to you now, so if you're having problems with an uninvited guest, green switch for hideout, blue switch for Cold, yellow for Top and red for Heat Wave."

Kendra shook her head. "You boys are so sweet. None of my former clients ever worried this much about me-"

"It's your former clients we're worried about." Piper pointed out.

"Yes, well, thank you all the same. It's nice to be appreciated. I feel like I've finally found my niche."

"I should hope so. We like having you in Central." Well, except for possibly James, but Piper was waiting to see how things played out before he got emotionally invested in hating anyone in the hypothetical love triangle. He went to get his bag from the hallway and stowed the tool kit inside. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"Nothing's coming to mind." She walked him to the front door, a grin splitting her face while Piper pulled on sneakers she recognized as the Trickster's. The striped fluorescent laces were a dead give away. "So Piper dear, how are things going with you and James?"

"Really good, I-um, I mean…oh crap, I'm wearing his sweatshirt."

"I noticed the shoes."

Piper looked at his feet. "Crap."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I'm really happy for you though. James is such an affectionate sweetie. It must be a nice change of pace." Kendra had been the one to patch him up when his last boyfriend had given Piper a concussion and broken his wrist.

Piper shrugged, visibly flustered. "Yeah, it's, um, quite different from the relationship I had with Earl. For the better though."

"I should hope so."

"You know Kendra, um, speaking of romance…" Piper paused, considering whether he really wanted to say this or not. As Kendra looked mildly curious instead of defensive, he decided to go for it. "I'm sure you've noticed Len's infatuation with you."

"Mm. He's a great guy, but subtlety's not a strong suit. I've noticed."

"Well, just, if you _were_ thinking about amending your policy at any point…look, you just said how different we all are from your previous clientele. I know Len pretends to be gruff and hard hearted, but he's not. He's actually very protective, and, well…nice. You might consider him."

Kendra nodded, a guarded expression on her face. "I think it's admirable the way Len looks after you boys and I agree, whatever the façade, he is much more of a sweetheart than he's willing to let on. But the policy stands. I just don't want to introduce that kind of drama into my professional life. He's not the only one with a crush, you know."

"I wouldn't take Digger too seriously, he hits on anything vaguely female-"

"Not just him." Kendra said with a laugh and a cringe. "It's my own fault. Call a boy sweetie and it goes to his head. That's just my work persona, but some of the boys think I'm legitimately flirting with them."

Piper paused and thought about it. "Really?"

"I know. Great guys, but a little dense when it comes to women."

"That's an understatement. Well I should get going. Call me if you're having any problems with the new security system. James and I will head right over."

"Of course. Take care sweetie." She leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Kendra watched Piper drive off with her arms folded across her chest, a distant look in her eyes. "How do I always do this to myself?" She muttered.

When she'd left Metropolis she'd sworn things would be different, better in her next city. She'd researched Central first; the Cape was neither omniscient through super senses nor paranoid, so she'd set up shop without him noticing. And the Rogues were that perfect balance of sanity and insanity that made them lucrative but manageable clients.

Well, she'd have to rethink the manageable part. She walked into her newly remodeled kitchen and glared at the four vases of flowers on her kitchen table.

She plucked out the cards one by one and tossed them in the trash. "Len…Mark…Mick…Kadabra? Oh you've _got_ to be kidding me!"

She did mean it about her niche though. She really didn't want to leave Central if she could avoid it. Kendra thought about how nice and professional Piper had been during his shifts guarding her.

"Why can't they all be gay?"


	2. Chapter 2

When Piper got home he half expected James to be waiting by the front door for a tackle-hug, then remembered the clingy cuddle slut wouldn't be back until the shift with Kendra was supposed to have ended.

"Oh…what to do with some me-time." Piper breathed. It's not that he didn't _like_ having James around, quite the contrary. But a nice long bath and a night watching the PBS documentaries he'd taped and set aside in favor of entertaining his new boyfriend sounded really good.

* * *

Piper ended up falling asleep in front of the TV. He woke up around 3 am and instinctively reached behind him for James, but of course there weren't arms wrapped around his waist or a face pressed against his neck.

"Huh. Guess I really do like being smothered." Piper muttered groggily. He reached for his phone, intending to call James and tell him he could come back now. He didn't need to know Kendra had been gone for hours.

James didn't pick up. Piper shrugged it off and went to bed.

He woke up again around six when James clambered in through the window and landed on him. Piper had him pinned to the mattress with a flute pressed against his throat before he was coherent enough to notice it was his boyfriend and not an attacker.

And he was wearing a prison jumpsuit.

Piper let him up. James rubbed at his throat. "Kay, _ow_. But good instincts, I guess."

"You look like you've had an interesting night." Piper said, tapping his flute against his palm. "What happened?"

"Roscoe sucks and Flash is a tool."

"Yes…that's _been_ the case, but it doesn't always lead to you getting arrested. You broke out reasonably quickly though."

"I just scooted out through the hole Sam made in the wall." James jumped off of the bed and started stripping out of the prison uniform. "BT dubs, we don't have to worry about Roscoe overthrowing Len and making our lives a living hell anymore." He started sifting through Piper's dresser for jammies.

"Oh." Piper hugged his knees to his chest, suddenly more alert. "Why not?"

"Cuz he kicked it. He also left a massive death trap all over Central before he did. We spent all frickin' day collecting Roscoe's bombs, and at the last minute Flash diffuses them and hauls us to jail. What a selfless pillar of morality, huh? I mean, me and Len and the guys, we're just bums. Y'know, we didn't risk life and limb bringing dangerous explosives back to our hideout or anything. Least that's the way Picture News is reporting it."

"I'm sorry James…I can't believe he hauled you all in. You were essentially helping him."

"That's what makes him such a tool! No shades of gray to that guy." De-jumpsuited, James flopped onto the bed next to Piper and glared at the ceiling. "You're either Gandhi or the Joker to that jack ass. No in-between."

"Why was Roscoe trying to destroy Central?"

"…cuz he's a douche? Well, he _was_ a douche, more like." James corrected with a smug grin. "I dunno, didn't question it. I think his spinning was rattling him a bit. He said it was giving him super mind powers, but…yeah, I'm not gonna miss him."

"He's really dead?"

"Yep. Saw the body and everything."

Piper frowned. "Maybe things will go smoother with our team ups then. I don't think anyone else wants to be leader."

"Sounds like a nightmare to me. Keeping a bunch of egotistical unstable costumes in line? No thank you. You'd have to be repellently responsible." James snuggled closer to Piper, who started stroking his hair. "I wish I knew where Flash lived. I wanna leave a bag of flaming dog shit on his front stoop."

"That's all you'd do if you knew where he lived?"

"I'd do other things too, but you gotta start with the classics."

"I suppose. I'm wiped. Let's plan your revenge against Flash later, okay?"

"Okay Pookie."

Piper grumbled, but gave up actively protesting the endearment. "You're lucky you're pretty."

* * *

The rest of the Rogues had all sprung themselves or been sprung from Iron Heights by the end of the week. They met up at Len's for a poker night which consisted not so much of playing cards but of bitching about Flash, Roscoe, and their week at Iron Heights. This time Mick was conspicuously absent.

Piper and James hovered near the back, sipping at sodas as their friends got progressively more shit faced. Piper decided they might as well swap theories then and there; it's not like anyone would remember their conversation even if they noticed it.

"So where do you think Mick is?"

"Huh? Dunno. Is he still in Iron Heights?"

"No, he broke out with Mark on Thursday."

"Oh." James frowned. "I don't know how that warden keeps his job."

"The same way the security staff at Arkham does, I'd guess. Somebody has to be willing to replace you before you can be fired."

"True enough. Piper, Mick's not conspiring against us. Just because Roscoe did, it doesn't mean you should start suspecting everyone. If anything, I'd guess he's out with Kendra."

Piper tapped his fingers impatiently against the soda can. "I just wish I _knew_ where he was though. He never skips poker."

James shrugged. "It's a little weird, but it happens. You okay? You've been awfully nervous lately."

"No I haven't. What makes you say that?" Piper snapped. James quirked an eyebrow.

"Well frankly…_that_."

"Sorry. I don't know."

"It's not me, right?" James asked, lowering his voice.

"Of course not. In all honesty, you're the only part of my life I'm happy with right now."

"Oh." James wasn't sure how to respond to that. But Len's house surrounded by tipsy Rogues definitely wasn't the place to discuss it, so he opted to let it go.

"I think I'm ready to head in whenever you are." Piper said.

"Yeah, I was done with this party two ginger ales ago. You think it's worth bothering to leave separately?"

Piper snorted. "I think we're okay."

They started towards the front door, but stopped when it was suddenly flung open. A petite blond girl with a tear stained face stomped into the main room.

"Uh…can we help you miss?" Piper asked, as he and James seemed to be the only ones to notice her emotional entrance.

"Yeah hon, this probably isn't the place you wanna be. In fact, it's probably the _last_ place you want to be." James said.

The girl glared at him. "I know exactly where I am-"

"Clearly not, because these drunk guys in the Technicolor suits? They get grabby." James interrupted, indicating the less than modest orange dress she was wearing. "You might wanna come back with a full body trench coat."

Somehow the intensity of her glare increased. "Shut it. I'm not here to talk to you." Without warning she pressed a large blue jewel to James' forehead. He went cross eyed trying to look at it, before being suddenly propelled across the room where he crashed into the TV, banging his head against the wall. He slumped over, unconscious.

"James!" Piper ran to him, carefully extracting him from the remains of Len's furniture. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

The Rogues who weren't passed out trained weapons on the stranger. Then Len's eyes widened with recognition. "L-Lisa? Whudaryou doin' here…attacking my friends?"

"Sorry Lenny." She held her hands up, glancing warily at the different gimmicked weapons. "The thing just had more kick to it than I expected. Your buddy'll be up and as obnoxious as ever in no time."

"Hartley? Do we need to call Kendra?" Mark asked.

Piper flicked the jewel off of James' forehead and started prodding at him. He let out a small groan and sat up.

"I feel sick."

"Haul him to the can!" Len barked.

"C'mon James, easy does it." Piper helped him to the bathroom, just in time from the sounds of the retching noises.

"Well Leese?" Len asked. She rolled her eyes.

"I didn't come here to attack anybody. I want to join you guys."

"Absolutely not!"

"Hey, we could hear her out at least." Mark said. His eyes were clearly not on Lisa's face, or even where he was aiming his weather wand.

Len fixed his cold gun on Mark. "That's my baby sister."

"Oh. Er, nice to meet you miss." Mark said, flustered. "But we actually don't need any new members, recent vacancy or no."

Lisa's lower lip trembled. Then she erupted into violent sobs. Len tossed his gun aside and led her to the sofa, taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "Hey kid, calm down and let's talk-"

"That's why I need to j-join you!" She sobbed. "The vacancy…I need to kill the F-Flash…you guys can help me, I know you can! Please? I've, I've got a costume and I'm working up some gimmicks-all cold themed, just like you. We could watch each other's backs again, just like old times Lenny. I know I look like a mess right now, but I swear, I can be just as good a Rogue as any of you."

"Lisa, we've never been trying to kill the Flash." Piper spoke up from the hallway. James was leaning against him, still looking disoriented.

Lisa scowled. "He's your enemy, isn't he? Don't lie to me."

"Yeah, but he's also a member of the Justice League." Piper said. "We've got no interest in finding out what his friends would do to us if we actually killed him."

"There are rules for the group Lisa." Len continued. "And not killing capes is right about the top. We even swap notes on Kid Flash, just to make sure we don't fire more at the kid than he can handle. Sides, you're doing so good on your own. Why throw that away?"

"So wait, let me get this straight. The Flash just killed one of your friends, and you're all okay with that?" Lisa asked, sounding close to hysterics again.

"Who'd Flash kill?" James asked. Piper shushed him and helped him sit down, since it sounded like he might be sick again.

"Roscoe Dillon!" Lisa shrieked. "The Top! Flash _murdered_ him-he needs to pay!"

"Listen kid, I dunno where you got this idea that Roscoe was buddies with us. We worked together, yeah, but…" Len trailed off, noticing the level of Lisa's distress. Something clicked in his head. "Oh hell. This isn't about joining me, is it? How the hell did you know Dillon?"

"I can't put words to what Roscoe meant to me, not yet." Her hands clenched into fists as she stood and walked towards the door. "But when I do, Flash, Central City, and all of you worthless Rogues will be a captive audience to it. I'll avenge my Roscoe on my own if I have to-and don't think for a second big brother, that you're going to stop me!" She slammed the door behind her, sprinkling the welcome mat with plaster from the cracked ceiling.

"Y'know, I don't see the family resemblance."

"Shut up Tricks."

…

"There it is."

* * *

Len sat down on a bench by the snack vendor at the Central City ice rink and waited. He'd known for years that Lisa visited the public rink for a pressure free fun skate on Tuesday mornings (when it was relatively slow anyway), he'd just never bothered to make use of the information.

He hadn't really wanted to be involved in her life. It wasn't that he didn't love his baby sister, quite the opposite. She was doing so well as Lisa Star. Fate didn't need to be reminded that she was a Snart, and that Snarts were failures. He'd kept his distance since he'd left their childhood house (the word home had never felt quite right), but he'd never been fully absent from her life, which had been riddled with anonymous donations and mysterious grants. She'd made it clear at the poker game though that such distance was no longer necessary.

Len had barely waited twenty minutes before he saw Lisa step out onto the ice. She looked as cool and controlled as ever, sliding right into one of her routines. He remembered watching this one on TV last year for some big charity skate event. That was nothing to seeing it in life. She moved with fluidity and grace yet everything was controlled, every smooth lift of her leg, every jump, every perfect spin was all marked by her intention.

He'd known she'd skate her way out of the hellhole their Dad had created. Of course he didn't need to bring Lisa with him into an unpredictable and dangerous life of crime. She was fine on her own. Nothing to feel guilty about…nothing to…

Lisa suddenly went into a fierce spin that Len didn't remember seeing in the original routine. Her skates whipped up shards of ice as she spun more and more violently before suddenly collapsing, legs akimbo on the powdered mess she'd made of that particular section of rink.

Len was running out to her before the importance of his lack of skates caught up to him. He ended up skidding, falling and crashing into the plexiglass behind Lisa. "Oof!"

"Lenny?" She wiped at her face. Oh, she'd been crying again. His stomach gave an anxious, involuntary squeeze. Even this many years later, he still expected to be hit when one of them cried. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you. What's it look like?"

"It looks like you're kicking yourself in the face. Why'd you run onto the rink without skates you big goof? You're such a klutz. Geeze, you're not even wearing cleats." She helped him up and walked him to the ring of benches along the outside of the rink. Her smile was strained, her own uncomfortable reaction to being caught in tears.

"You okay though kid? I saw you spill out there…"

"That was just, just the spinning. _He_ taught me how to do that, you know." Lisa chewed her lip. "I guess Roscoe didn't mention it, but he was my skating coach."

"Really?" Len blinked, startled. "Shouldn't he have had some kind of qualifications or something?"

Lisa snorted. "I figured I was good enough that I'd just pick whoever was cheapest and was gonna give me the most freedom to do my routines and things the way I wanted, so at first his lack of credentials was an asset. God Lenny, I miss him so much. I still can't believe he's gone. It just feels like he's taking some time off for a big heist or something, y'know?"

Len shrugged. In truth he thought Roscoe was a pretentious, conniving bastard. Clearly Lisa saw a side of him he hadn't shown the Rogues. He decided not to press the issue. "Look Leese, I've been talking things over with the guys since you came by the other night, and to an extent we think you're right. We can't just let Flash get away with bumping one of us off."

Her eyes lit up. "Of course you can't! So, so does that mean you're going to avenge Roscoe?"

"We still don't wanna murder the Flash. But we do need to do something big. The guys are all working up some master plans right now. Piper was buzzing about something at length the other night, but now he's being all moody and secretive about it so it's gotta be good. And Trickster, well, he's still trying to push this Kool-Aid thing he worked up, but-"

"So what do you want me to do? Y'know, to help?" Lisa asked eagerly.

Len frowned. "My point was, we'll take care of it for you. So you can keep skating and…um…whatever it is you do with a normal life."

Lisa's face twisted in anger. "I _used_ to spend my downtime with my lover until Flash took that from me! How can you say all this bull about protecting me from your world, wanting me to have a good life when my life is gone now! Lenny, you left me with Dad, you cut me outta your life and let's face it, you don't even know me anymore. So stop pretending."

"Leese, please, I'm trying here. We'll make Flash suffer as much as we can, I promise. There's no reason to throw your life away."

"I just told you." She sniffed, hugging herself protectively. "I _don't have_ a life without Roscoe."

"Lisa…" Len shook his head sadly and stared at his clenched hands. He was sorely tempted to go out and desecrate Roscoe's grave. He wanted to do something to attack the dead man in the off chance it would make him feel the tiniest bit better about the head games Roscoe had played with his sister.

"Hey Len, um, why don't we stop talking about this for a little while and just try to catch up first? I, I did kinda miss having my big brother around. Not gonna lie, that's more than half the reason I wanna do my Flash vengeance with the Rogues." Lisa squeezed his hand. "I mean, I'll still do it on my own if you're gonna be this stubborn about it, but, um, well it'd be nice to see you every now and then."

"Yeah, yeah it would. Wanna grab lunch sometime?"

"I'm free now. C'mon, I just gotta get these skates off!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him towards her duffle bag.


	3. Chapter 3

"And then I fell flat on my ass right in front of the judges table. Like skidded across the ice on my rear. I thought I was sunk then, but I still placed. They had a weird judging system and since the rest of my routine went so well…" Lisa shrugged. "I'll take it."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"So that's like ice skating anecdote number seven this lunch." She pointed out, shooting an accusatory look at her brother. "We're sposed to be catching up. You gonna tell me any exciting stories about being a super criminal?"

Len frowned. "They're not really exciting-"

"I beg to differ. I do watch the recaps on the news and read the paper you know. I've got a scrapbook devoted to your heists."

"Yeah, well it ain't glamorous to get your butt kicked by Flash on a regular basis. The guy's a bit of a sadist when he brings you in. Poor JJ's getting a vertigo condition from it."

"Uh huh."

"Seriously Leese, we get hurt a lot. Just ask our crime doctor. She's making a fortune off of us."

"You guys have your own private crime doctor?" Lisa asked. "Wow, so you really are organized."

"Eh…Kendra sought us out and we just kinda kept using her. She's convenient."

"Do I detect a sappy smile?" Lisa teased. She reached over (and up) to ruffle his hair. Scowling, he pulled back and held a fork in defense, ready to stab. "Somebody's got a cru-ush."

"I do not."

"Oh my god, you're actually blushing! Oh Lenny, who is this chick? I've gotta meet her. Please-please-please!"

"Oh for the love of…I didn't even want you to meet the other guys, why would I introduce you to our crime doctor?" Len snapped.

"Have you asked her out yet? Sent her flowers? Girls like flowers, but you can't cheap out. Roses, always go for roses. Oh! You should take her to one of my shows! The ice shows are surprisingly good dates, and then I can scope the bitch out and decide if she's good enough for you or not-"

"Can you please drop this? Jesus, you're worse than Trickster."

"So your friends know you like this girl?"

"Urgh…yes, Tricks knows I like Kendra, but it doesn't matter anyway." Len glanced out the window, a sour expression on his face.

"Why not?"

"Because Kendra won't date her clients. Found that out a couple days ago. At least this time it's not really rejection. I didn't have a chance anyway." He sighed.

Lisa decided she distinctly did not like that dejected look on her brother's face. "Well did you try talking to her about it? I mean, not dating your clients makes sense if they're all criminals, but you're responsible and you've got those rules and stuff, so you're _not like_ other criminals. Maybe she'd make an exception."

"She'd make an exception for a looker, not for me. Dames are like that."

"Len, you're not ugly."

"You don't need to lie to me, I do have a mirror. I hang out with a guy covered in 'em."

"_Len_!" Lisa snapped. "Ask her out or I'm going to for you. She'd totally say yes if she knows you at all. And come on, you're tall and you've got all those muscles. Just don't wear the Eskimo parka or the silly glasses when you talk to her and she'll notice. Oh, and shave. Make sure you shave."

Completely against his will, Len was starting to feel hopeful again. Not as hopeful as when James had left him the cooler of spontaneous romantic date ingredients, but hopeful all the same. "You really think she'd make an exception?"

"Course she would. I mean think about why she has the policy. It's to protect her from overly fixated nut jobs. And you're not like that, right?"

Oh. Clearly she hadn't read any articles about that time he'd taken Iris West hostage or the smack down he and Heat Wave had gotten into over Dream Girl.

"Um, yeah, no, I don't do shit like that."

Lisa tossed some money onto their table to cover their bill and then yanked Len towards the door. "Come on, let's go shopping! We can get you a really flattering outfit and some new cologne so you don't smell like a middle school locker room-"

"Hey!"

"And I'll show you which flowers to buy." Lisa finished brightly.

"I should show up with flowers? Isn't that presumptuous?"

"Just trust your sister on this."

* * *

Piper jogged up the stairs of his apartment building, struggling with a bag of groceries in one arm and a bag from the electronics store in the other. He was excited about getting started on his next project, to the point where he'd probably toss the groceries right off to James to put away if the Trickster was still visiting.

Piper snorted. Like there was a chance James had gone home. Whatever, it wasn't an issue.

He reached a problem when he got to his door. "Um…shit, keys." He managed to get the keys out of his pocket and into his hand, but he couldn't reach the doorknob without spilling the groceries all over the hallway. He bent over to try biting the keys to get them to his mouth, and then into his other hand.

"Do you need help with something?"

"Hrm?" The keys fell to the floor. Piper attempted to scoop them up and spilled the contents of both his bags. "Fuck."

"Sorry. Here, let me help you." A young man with stylishly cut brown hair and a slight lisp crouched down to help Piper pick everything up.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Um, I'm James. I live down the hall from you."

"Hi. Piper. Nice to meet you." Piper winced, realizing he probably shouldn't have given any kind of variation on his villainous persona as his name. He had several aliases (including the one he'd signed the lease under) and his real name to choose from, after all.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you too. Um, good luck with your…" He looked down at the package of copper wire he'd been about to stuff back into the electronics store bag. "…whatever it is you're doing."

"Thanks." Piper defensively finished stuffing things back into the bag and nudged it aside.

"So, um, I'm actually new to this area and I was wondering if you'd maybe want to get together sometime. I'm still trying to meet people, and, um…you seem, um…"

"Sorry, I'm actually really busy. Maybe we could talk some other time." Piper unlocked his door, grabbed his bags and headed in while James was still trying to string together a coherent sentence. "Thanks for the help John."

"It was actually James." The man muttered as the door closed in his face.

Piper rolled his eyes. "James, you still here?" He couldn't hear cartoons or video games. "James?"

"Hey Pookie!"

"Rmrgh. James, come get the groceries, I want to get to work."

"Uh, busy right now. Ow."

"Stay still hon, I'm almost done." That was Kendra's voice.

Piper poked his head into the bedroom. James was wearing his costume, which was heavily stained with neon yellow paint. His hair and face were tinted pink, which was a worrying sign…yep, and now the bedding was stained yellow and pink. Kendra was sitting next to him, sewing stitches on his forehead.

"What did you do?"

"The, uh, revenge on Flash plan…it didn't go so well. Everything kinda backfired. I'm thinking next time less explosions." James said sheepishly.

"Or more controlled ones, certainly." Kendra said with a nod. "Just about done honey. How are you feeling? Do you need me to leave you some pain pills?"

"Still got some from last time. Thanks Kendra. How much do I owe you?"

"No charge this time. You boys all have three free house calls as my thanks for all your help recently. It looks like you might owe Piper a new blanket though." She started packing up her bag but was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. "Excuse me boys, I'm going to take this before I finish up."

"Fine, fine." Piper had set the bags down on the kitchen table. He went back into the living room where James smiled hopefully at him. Piper leaned over to look at the cut on his forehead, and then smacked the stitches.

"Ow!" James cringed, covering his head defensively. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I don't know, maybe the same reason you decided to patch up on my comforter! This isn't going to wash out James!"

"Fine, so the blanket's stained, I'll buy you a new one."

"No, you'll give me the money for a new one. I have no intention of having my bedroom look just as ridiculous as my living room."

"Piper!"

Piper stormed back into the kitchen and started putting the groceries away, more ticked off than he probably should have been. Kendra was sitting on the living room couch, giggling at something the person she was talking to had said.

"Alright, I'll head right over…yes, I'm just about finished…okay, no I'm not wearing…I guess I _could_ change, um, we shouldn't talk about this now…bye." She clicked her phone shut, cheeks red. "Hi Piper."

"Sounds like you amended your policy." He noted.

"I didn't…heh, you think that was one of the Rogues I was talking to? That's just…oh damn, I forgot about the super hearing." The implants had come up as important more than once in the time she'd been working as a crime doctor for the Rogues. "Yes, I'm seeing Mick."

"I thought so."

"You're not going to tell Len, are you?" Somehow she didn't look as concerned as Piper would have expected her to be.

"I certainly don't want to be around when he does find out. Kendra, he _is_ going to find out. And you'll be in the middle of another volatile dispute between Captain Cold and Heat Wave. Have you really thought this out?"

She frowned. "Of course I did. I figured it would just make Len hopeful. He might think he has a better shot in the future when Mick and I break up. Men like Len, they're not complicated."

"Yes he is." Piper was flabbergasted. "And what do you mean _when_ you and Mick break up? How many of my friends are you planning on hurting?"

"Excuse me? This is my personal life we're talking about Hartley. It's not any of your business."

"It is now that you've decided to mix business and pleasure." Piper insisted. "Was there ever even actually a policy to begin with?"

"Does it matter? I should be able to do my work and see whoever I want without having to worry about…" She pressed a hand to her forehead, eyes fixed on the ground. "I…I've got to go. I'm sorry, I'll try to keep this all from blowing up. Piper…please don't say anything to Len."

"Are you jerking Mick around?"

"Goodbye Piper." She left in a huff.

Scowling, Piper finished unpacking the groceries and set up on the living room floor with his equipment and some notes he'd scrawled the other night. James hovered by the doorway, wringing a sponge in his hands.

"Baby…I tried to get the stains out of the comforter. I'm sorry."

"S'okay."

"Did Kendra leave?"

"Mm."

James sat down across from Piper. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt now. His skin was back to normal, but his hair was still faintly pink. "For future reference, cherry Kool-Aid is more powerful than amoxicillin as hair dye."

"I like your hair blond."

"I'm sure the Kool-Aid will come out eventually. Whatcha working on?" James leaned over to try to get a look at Piper's notes, but he pulled them away and sat on them. "Secret?"

"Mm hm. I'll let you know if it works."

James pouted. "If it's for jerking Flash around, we should work on it together."

"You worked on your death trap alone."

"Yeah, but we knew mine wasn't going to-wait, death trap?" James cocked his head to the side. "Like a real one?"

"Of course not a real one. The phrase just slipped out. I'm making a pest of myself, just like always. Come on James, you know I don't want to kill anyone." Piper glanced up from the pipe he'd been gimmicking and eyed James. "You do know that…right?"

"Yeah, of course. The phrasing just threw me." James leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Well happy plotting Pookie. I'm gonna make lunch."

"And buy me a new comforter. In an earth tone James."

"…but earth tones are boring."

"I _like_ earth tones."

"Fine, I'll get an earth tone."

* * *

"That's not an earth tone."

"It's green!" James insisted, thrusting the new comforter into Piper's hands.

"It's _lime_ green! It's almost neon!"

"…I thought it was pretty. It kinda matches."

Piper laughed. "God, you're terrible. You're really going to turn my whole apartment neon."

"…Is that you giving me permission?"

"_No_!"

* * *

Lisa waited at Len's house while he went and talked to Kendra. She sat on his couch for awhile with the TV on, but she wasn't really watching it. She had two options right now, so it was time to make a decision.

It wasn't that she wasn't happy to be reconnecting with her brother. Len was the only family she had left that she didn't want to punch in the throat whenever she saw them. But she still felt a lot of hurt and resentment from the way he'd left, and that he'd felt the need to hide since then. She understood that he was trying to protect her, but she was already damaged. She might as well have her equally damaged brother who understood her around.

Reconnecting with Len had been a bit of a ruse though, and she felt bad about that. She honestly hadn't expected the lunch to go so well, or to have the nice distraction of this Kendra woman to put her energy into. It had been fun, shopping with Len and teasing him. Hopefully things were going well with this doctor woman.

Now that he was gone though, and had left her alone in his house, she had work to do. Sighing, Lisa got up and started betraying her brother's trust.

* * *

Len got home some hours later, already completely smashed. Lisa jumped up, startled. She kicked the blue prints of an absolute zero gun under the couch and smiled innocently. "Hey Lenny, how'd it go?"

"How'd it go? _How'd it go_?" He was swaying dangerously and, she noticed, wearing his Captain Cold parka over the dress shirt they'd picked out. "How d'you think it went! Why'd I think it'd go…anyway other'n it went. She fuckin', she fuck'n-"

"Whoa Lenny, easy does it. C'mon, get onto the couch before you hurt yourself." She helped him onto the couch and pried a bottle out of his hands, setting it down on the table. "I got that it didn't go well. Will you tell me what happened? Len?"

And then he started not-crying. This was a technique the siblings had mastered while they were still living with their abusive father, who had a hang up about seeing his kids cry when he beat them. It consisted of all the motions and noises usually associated with crying, but without the presence of tears. Roscoe's death was the first thing to bring legitimate tears to Lisa's eyes since she was about four, while Len, it seemed, still functioned with not-crying.

"Len, hon, what happened?" There was no way the girl had just said no. Her brother was tougher than that.

"Sh-she never even hadda policy…she's been banging Heatwave fer months! She jus' didn't wanna deal with me…too ugly, too hairy, oh but the pyrofrigginmaniac, he's gonna be a good boyfrien'. Hope he burns her house down."

"Well clearly she's a terrible bitch and you can do better. I'm sorry I got you so excited Len. I had no idea what a skank she was. I'm really sorry-"

"Don'. Don't insult Kendra. She's an angel, she's jus', just confused. She kisses my cheek. She calls me sweetie. She helps me so much…Mick musta done somethin', I know it."

"You really had feelings for this girl, didn't you?" Lisa realized. He nodded, and then went back to not-crying. There was something broken about him, and Lisa felt her anger building the longer she watched it.

"M'not ever gonna, there's no one f'r me, is there? No, ya gotta look like Mick, or Mark…even friggin' Roscoe, apparen'ly! Should just give up. The only dates m'ever gonna get are the ones I pay for. Only hookers r'gonna put up with me."

"Len that's not even a little true. You'll find your one, and when you do it'll be magic. You know how to treat a girl, and that's worth way more than anything those other guys have got. It'll all be okay."

Lisa hugged him, and helped him to bed, leaving a bottle of water by his bed for what was sure to be one hell of a hangover. Then she took the notes she'd made from Len's schematics and headed home to plan her first outing as a Rogue.


	4. Chapter 4

"This isn't funny James!" Piper pounded on the door to _his_ apartment. "Let me in!"

"I happen to find this hilarious!" James' voice was a little muffled by the door.

Piper hitched the towel he was wearing a little further up his hips. He really should have known better than to step into the hallway in a towel anyway. This sort of juvenile prank was right up James' alley.

"What do you want me to do? Climb in through the window?"

"Sounds hot!"

"You're an asshole! James, I'm going to gouge out your eyes with a god damned rusty spoon!"

"Excuse me?"

Piper turned around and suppressed a groan. Their neighbor, whom he'd realized was also named James (not John, it had taken him awhile to correct that), was standing behind him with a bag of groceries.

In addition to being dripping wet naked in a towel, Piper was now pretty sure he was going the same shade of red as his hair. He'd only spoken to this guy two or three times at most.

"Oh, um, not you…your eyes are safe. My-my boyfriend locked me out."

"I see." James said with an awkward smile. "That's not terribly nice of him."

"No, it's not." Piper banged on the door again.

"Is he really not going to let you in?"

"I think he wants me to climb in."

"Wearing a _towel_?"

"Yes. You see I'm dating a man with the maturity level of a twelve year old." Piper explained. James laughed.

"Would you like to borrow some clothes?"

"Very much so."

* * *

James let Piper into a modest sized apartment. He set his groceries on the kitchen island and then shuffled off to his bedroom to grab the clothes, leaving Piper in the living room to look around. About half the room was taken up by two large drafting tables, with a futon and a mixed assortment of overflowing bookshelves taking up the other half, leaving no room for a TV. His James would have been mortified.

"Here you go." James returned with a pair of workout pants, a white collared shirt and a pair of cotton briefs. "Bathroom's at the end of the hall."

"Thanks." Piper hurriedly changed and returned to the living room, where he found James sifting through the papers on one of his drafting tables.

"So how long do you think it'll take for your boyfriend to get tired of the joke and unlock the door?"

"Hm? Oh James won't get tired. I really will have to climb in through the window."

James quirked an eyebrow. "Sounds like a real catch."

"He's eccentric, but he's still-"

"I was teasing." James interrupted, frowning apologetically. "He's the blond guy that's always hanging around, right?"

"Probably." Piper didn't pay much attention to the other inhabitants of his building or their guests.

"Well he's a looker, at least. That must help him out when you're threatening to mutilate his big, blue puppy eyes."

Piper snorted. "Yes, he's rather good at manipulating rage into cuddling."

"Which one of you's the cook? I always smell the best stuff while I'm walking past your place."

"James is the cook. And yes, that gets him out of trouble too." Piper answered. "I'm sorry. We must be terribly annoying neighbors."

"No! You guys are really interesting. I'd been hoping for a chance to get to know you guys better." He let out a dramatic sigh. "I designed this place, actually. I designed a few different buildings for this rental company, and when I decided to move into this one I thought I might get some kindred soul neighbors, y'know, since it's a little funky and unconventional. But most of the building's inhabited by pretentious yuppie assholes."

"I hadn't noticed." Piper admitted. He was rather fond of the fact that he hadn't spoken to more than a few of his neighbors, and even then only a handful of times each.

"Course you wouldn't. You've got a hot blond cook to distract you." James said with a laugh. "How long have you guys been going out?"

"A couple months now. You're…"

"Queer too? Yep." James extracted the paper he'd been looking for and handed it to Piper. "I just finished working on a gay bar for Central City. The grand opening's next month. You and your boy should come and check it out."

"Sounds fun." Piper lied. He hated bars and was only ever tempted out to them if a quality musician was playing. He kept the flier though, not wanting to be rude.

* * *

Piper climbed the fire escape and crawled in through his bedroom window some hours later, having spent a pleasant afternoon with his neighbor. James poked his head in at the noise, a petulant frown on his face.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Up the hall visiting one of our neighbors."

"But this place is full of yuppie douchebags. Who was the paranoid liberal chatting up?" James flopped onto the bed and eyed Piper curiously.

"I was with James-the-architect. He offered to loan me clothes, and then we just kind of kept talking. He's very nice. He's even more well read than I am, and he offered to let me borrow anything I want. He's got this great looking book on social inequality in World War II era-"

"Uh oh."

"What?" Piper started stripping off the borrowed clothes and rifling around for clean ones.

"You've got a crush."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. It's okay!" James laughed. "I'll only get rid of the guy if I feel threatened."

"_James_. I do not have a crush." Piper balled up the borrowed clothes and tossed them in the hamper. He decided to do laundry that night and return the clothes the next morning.

"It's just a crush. It's not a big deal Pookie, everyone does it. I've got kind of a thing for Catwoman, actually."

"Have you ever _met_ Catwoman?"

"No, but I plan on rectifying that at the first available opportunity."

Piper dropped the flier onto James' lap. "Well, my not-crush invited us out."

"To a gay bar?"

"He designed the place. And yes, he is gay too. James?"

"Nothing. Just feeling a little threatened." James said with a scowl.

Piper let out a melodramatic sigh. "I do not have a crush, he does not have a crush, and you _do not_ need to feel threatened! If something does happen to James just because he was being neighborly, you're on the couch for a month."

"Fine. I'll behave. So do you actually want to go to this thing?" James asked, flicking the flier.

"Not really, no. But I think we should anyway."

"We? Oh no, no way in hell I'm going to a gay bar. If this guy wants to get to know us better we can invite him over for a poker night."

"We cannot invite a civilian to a poker night!" Piper said, horrified. "Especially not a slightly effeminate queer one! Can you imagine what Digger would say? We'd never see James again."

"Mwa ha ha…" James mock-cackled under his breath. Piper hit him with a pillow before dropping down onto the bed next to him.

"So what's your issue with gay bars? You like regular ones well enough."

"Idaknow, it's just not my thing. I'm not comfortable around flamboyant guys. And any place where gays specifically congregate to be gay-"

"Is full of flag waving _queers_." Piper finished. "Does that have anything to do with you still being in the closet? I'd like to tell people I'm dating a really hot acrobat. There are bragging rights to be had."

James chewed his lip. "I just…don't feel gay. I know, I know, I'm in love with a guy, which makes me not straight but…the label doesn't feel right. Falling for you just kinda hit me out of the blue. I've never been interested in a guy before and I don't really see it happening again. It's just you."

"So…you're bisexual then. And it's normal for bisexuals to be drawn more towards one gender than the other."

"But I'm not attracted to guys at all. Just you." James sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "Idaknow, it's weird. I'd rather just keep this to myself."

"So, effectively you don't plan on telling people we're dating." Piper said quietly. "Do I have that right?"

"Why is it anyone else's business?" James asked.

"It's not, but I don't understand the necessity of hiding! If you really don't care what people think, then follow through with it. I hid my sexuality for eighteen miserable years and I'm never going back to that."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm just not ready. I still haven't figured myself out well enough to start getting labeled, and when you're dating a guy people label you."

"Okay. So…so just more time?" Piper asked. James nodded. "Sorry. I'm not trying to pressure you-"

"No, it's cool. I get it. I'd be pissed at me too. Believe me, I wish I was as sure of myself as you are."

"James, you're ten times more confident than I am, at least." Piper said with a snort.

James leaned over and dropped his head onto Piper's shoulder for a snuggle. "Yeah, but not with important stuff. Look, you know who you are, you have this sense of right and wrong and you stick to it…without being a douchy cape. It's pretty cool. I'm more of a hedonist, and whereas the flexibility's liberating, it makes things kinda murky."

"So what are you saying? Do you want to help out at the shelters with me?" Piper asked. He was having a harder time than usual following James' train of thought, and was just about ready to abandon the struggle altogether and suggest they play video games.

"Hell no. I'm just admiring you Pookie."

"I've asked you not to call me that."

"And I'm ignoring you. Because you're my Pookie." James pulled Piper to him and kissed the side of his face. "I do love you. Is that enough?"

"It certainly works for me."

* * *

"Shit, he brought Green Lantern with him!" Digger yelled, running into the museum office in a panic.

"That's cheating!" Mark yelped.

Piper turned to look at him. "We were planning on taking him seven on one, how is Flash having one person for back up cheating?"

"Because we all know just one Justice Leaguer is enough to kick all our collective asses at once, so two of them makes this mission a sure fail." James responded. He was sitting on top of the safe they were attempting to crack.

"You're being awfully calm about it. Why don't you head out and greet 'em, get your ass kicking over with sooner!" Digger spat.

"Cuz they're having enough fun with Len, Mick and Sam and I don't wanna spoil the party." James motioned to the security camera monitor, where they could see each and every speedster-intended trap being taken out with ease via power ring.

Piper stood up and stretched. "Well I'd best make myself scarce. I can probably hypnotize them as long as they don't know where I am. If Flash sees me he'll disarm me before I can be useful."

"Hey Poo-uh, Piper…why don't you use this?" James asked. Piper glared at him and motioned his head towards Digger and Mark (who admittedly weren't paying the faintest bit of attention to the younger rogues due to terror). James scowled and mouthed back 'I know!'.

"Well. Use what?" Piper demanded.

"This." James motioned to an intercom.

Piper grinned, reaching for a pipe. "Any requests?"

"Just knock 'em out before they get here!" Digger snapped. He and Mark were crowded in front of the monitor watching the battle that was now unfolding in the gift shop. They winced, watching Len's gun redirect via power ring and cover him in ice instead of Green Lantern.

"Nah, that's boring. Hey Pookie, why don't you make them square dance this time?"

"_James_!"

Mark turned away from the monitor and eyed them curiously. "Are you two okay?"

"Fine." They both snapped.

"Then can you please start hypnotizing the capes Hartley?" Mark pressed.

Piper held his pipe to his lips, but before he managed to play more than a few notes a scarlet blur burst into the room. There were a few minutes of disoriented dizziness, and suddenly Piper found himself dangling from a ceiling beam in the dinosaur room (so a good five stories from the floor) watching his stocking cap fall towards a display of raptors. He let out a shriek, dropping his pipe to cling to a nearby beam.

Flash laughed from the T-Rex head he was sitting on. "Don't worry Piper, we'll send someone up to retrieve you after we finish with your cohorts." He zipped off just before the pipe hit a display of fossils, shattering the glass spectacularly across the floor.

Piper managed to pull himself into a sitting position and then carefully started moving along the beam on his knees. He couldn't see a way to swing onto one of the other floors, or any kind of emergency hatch onto the roof. He really was stuck there until someone else helped him down.

"Piper?" James called tentatively. He was sweaty and sans cape, and there were black smudges on the front of his shirt, likely the residue from a small explosion.

"Up here!" Piper squeaked, then cleared his throat. "Here! You should probably bail though and head home so you can help us break out later! I think we're just about done for with this damn job!"

"Nu uh, I'm not ditching you!" James yelled. He kicked on his air shoes and slowly started jogging up towards the ceiling beam. "Mark's giving Flash and Green Lantern some trouble, they actually followed him into the lightning room. I think I've got a few minutes."

"If you're sure…" Piper started scooching closer to where James was running.

James almost made it too. Flash raced back into the room on the ground level, picked up some shards of glass from the smashed fossil case and hucked it at James' shoes. He hit something important, because the shoes started smoking before they puttered out. James' eyes widened with terror before he started plummeting.

"James!" Piper reached out helplessly. James had almost reached him; he'd almost been able to touch his fingers.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" James controlled his fall and landed on the T-Rex fossil Flash had been mocking Piper from earlier. It shook from the impact but didn't fall over. James hugged its head, eyes squeezed shut tight as he hyperventilated. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!"

"James it's okay! You're okay!" Piper yelled. "Deep breaths James, come on, you're not falling anymore!"

"It's too hi-igh!" James sobbed.

Flash was laughing from the ground level. Piper looked down in disbelief.

"You fucking asshole! You _know_ he's got a phobia! You couldn't capture us once we were closer to the ground?" Piper took off one of his shoes and threw it, which Flash of course dodged with ease.

Flash grinned. "Sorry Piper, you're right. How incredibly inconsiderate of me." Flash raced up the dinosaur, pried James off its skull and then raced back down, tossed him into the air and kicked up a whirlwind under him that elevated him almost to the ceiling. James' shrieks of terror echoed throughout the museum.

Without really thinking about what he was doing, Piper leapt off the ceiling beam and towards the whirlwind. He almost missed, but Flash readjusted and started lowering them towards the ground, startled at Piper's response. James curled into a fetal position and wept as soon as he was on the ground, but Piper was still running off of adrenaline and rage. He lunged forward and landed a few hits on the startled speedster, who wasn't expecting it.

Then a green shield came up between them, pushing Piper back against a wall. Flash rubbed at his jaw, still surprised. "Ow."

"You okay?" Green Lantern asked, while Piper viciously and creatively swore at the both of them.

"Yeah, fine. Come on, let's get these guys to jail."

The two super heroes didn't even see Captain Cold crouching in an Ice Age exhibit. As soon as they were in range he whacked Flash with the butt of his cold gun, knocking him out, and shot Green Lantern, encasing him almost entirely in ice, leaving only his ring-hand free. He walked over and picked off the ring, flinging it behind him.

The shield over Piper dissipated and he quickly ran to James' side. "Calm down love, you're okay, it's okay, ssh." He whispered, holding James close and stroking his hair.

Len cleared his throat, and the two rogues looked up at him. "Save the gay cuddles for later. Did you ever manage to crack that safe?"

"No." Piper answered.

Len scowled. "Mick got the gift shop register and Sam managed to hit a display of fancy rocks that looked valuable. Think it's time to cut our losses and regroup. Let's go before Lantern gets free or Flash wakes up."

"R-right." Piper helped James up and they followed after Len.

* * *

Sam was waiting for them at the hideout with an icepack over his eye and a big bag of loot sitting in front of him on the coffee table. His injuries didn't look that bad, and as he actually got loot it was a pretty pleasant sight. Mick stumbled in shortly thereafter, lugging an actual complete cash register.

Piper quirked an eyebrow. "Why didn't you just take the drawer?"

"Because Green fucking Lantern was on my ass and I wasn't thinking clearly. Least I got something." Mick snapped, dropping the register with a loud crash onto the floor. "By the by Len, thanks for locking me in the gift shop with him. You're a real team player, you know that?"

"You managed, didn't you?" Len said, though he didn't sound terribly pleased about it. "Where're Digger and Mark?"

"Flash zipped Boomer right to Iron Heights. And what do you mean where's Mark? I thought he was with you!" Sam said.

"I thought he was with you." Len snapped.

James let out a small groan. "I don't think this thing could have gone any more wrong."

Then Mark fell through the front door. He was covered with black dust from head to foot and his hair was a whole new state of wild. His weather wand was notably absent.

Sam and Len hauled him to the couch. "What's wrong Mark? You okay?" Sam asked.

"I'll…live. Fuckin' Flash." He answered in a shaky voice. "Lectrocuted me at-at least a dozen times...couldn't count exactly...on account a' the...the super speed."

"Yeah, the fuck is up his ass lately anyway?" Mick asked. "I swear, he's been stepping up how much of a prick he is."

"Just stress, I think. Heard he's been having some trouble with that reverse Flash guy." Len answered. "Mark, you good or do you need me to call Travis?"

"Travis? The amoxicillin guy?" Sam stared at Len like he had three heads. "Call Kendra! I need some of her headache pills anyway."

"I'll do it." Mick volunteered before Len could say anything. He trudged over to the phone to dial her house.

"Since I'm mostly okay I'm going to get going. Unless there's anything else?" Piper asked. Len shook his head, grumbled something under his breath and fixed a glare on Mick. "Right…James, are you hanging out here or did you want me to give you a ride?"

"Huh?" James had already stood to follow him, having completely forgotten about their pretense. "Oh, yeah, uh, that'd be great. Bye guys."

Sam waited until they were gone before giving Len a look. "How long have they been hooking up?"

"What, Piper and Trickster? A few months." Len answered dismissively.

"Really?" Mark asked, then broke into a hacking cough. "Didn't know…urgh, Tricks went that way."

"Seriously? I was more surprised about Piper actually." Sam said with a laugh. "It's almost sad how they think they're hiding it."

"I know." Len grinned. "You should have seen Hartley when Flash was attacking James, it was-"

"Guys, Kendra's not picking up!" Mick interrupted. "Home, cell or the emergency line. I think we've got a problem."

Len's face paled. Mark curled up on the couch while Sam went to look for Travis' number, muttering about timing. Mick caught Len's eye. "Um, we're checking this out, aren't we?"

Len swallowed, then nodded. He reached for a cold gun. "Yeah, of course. We said we'd have her back, didn't we?"

"Thought so. So…it's the two of us then?" Mick asked.

"I'm certainly not going anywhere." Mark said.

Sam sat down on the arm of the couch with a list of phone numbers, looking through it for another crime doctor. "I'm gonna hang in here. You guys call us if you need back up, okay?"

"Yeah, sure thing." Mick said with a nod. He looked at Len. "So, shall we?"

"I guess we have to." Len snarled.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Chapter 4 provoked a pretty strong response, so I just figured I'd clarify a point for those who might be wondering about my Flash-portrayal but not asking about it. I think it's reasonably obvious I don't think of Barry Allen as a very nice human being. Since the character was killed pretty early into the modern age of comics and only resurrected recently, most of his characterization is based on the Silver Age, when shades of gray didn't really exist and it was okay to treat someone like garbage as long as they were 'bad'. The supporting cast and the Rogues mostly lived into the modern age of comics where their characters were expanded and subtleties were introduced, meaning Barry's silver-age based treatment of them looks unequal and rough. I stand by my characterization as being grounded in canon, however, I did take it intentionally far last chapter in regards to Trickster to imply Barry's under a lot of stress (Len makes a comment about Barry having problems with the reverse-Flash). Plus Barry just generally seems to enjoy torturing Trickster (like when he made him beg to go to jail after he was clearly beaten). If I have offended any Barry-fans, it was not my intention. I was actually challenged to write him not behaving like a dick. It's posted under 22 Short Stories About Central City.  
_

* * *

James' shoes were giving off tiny yellow sparks with his steps by the time they got back to Piper's apartment. He ignored them during his trudge to the bedroom. Piper didn't say anything. James had been sullen and, well, _quiet_ during the ride back, which was very unlike him. He decided to give his boyfriend a little space.

Besides, he really wanted a shower.

When Piper got out of the shower, dressed in comfy clothes, and found James lying on their new lime green comforter staring at the ceiling still wearing his ruined costume and ruined air walkers he decided to deal with the problem sooner as opposed to later.

Piper laid down next to James on the bed and propped himself up on an elbow. "James…what's wrong love? Do you want to talk?"

"_No_."

"Bullshit, you always want to talk. Do you need me to help get you started?" Piper asked. He smoothed back some of James hair, then trailed his fingertips softly down the side of his face. "What's wrong?"

James closed his eyes in a grimace. "I can think of like nine hundred different things I screwed up today, that's what. Shit Piper, with all that fucking up it's a miracle you're not in Iron Heights, or injured-or _dead_. We work together, we're supposed to watch each others' backs…and I let you down."

"James…you didn't let me down. Besides, I'm the one who got distracted. Did you see me jump unarmed into a whirlwind so I could attack Flash? There was no plan there, I was just angry! That's when I could have died." Piper pointed out. "It was a suck day, there's no way around it. But we'll get used to working together now that we're involved and it'll get better…James, please, can you talk a little more? You're starting to freak me out."

"Sorry Pookie." James offered him a small smile, quite the pathetic little thing compared to the radiant beaming Piper had gotten used to, but it was comforting all the same. "I get kinda broody after I fall. I'll shake it off eventually. Giuseppes are supposed to just shake off falls."

Piper twined their fingers. "Freak out if you need to though. I'll be here."

**EARLIER THAT NIGHT**

Kendra was putting away a fresh stock of medical supplies when she got a phone call from the city's auto dialer, informing her of the battle between the Rogues and the Flash at the museum. "Please be advised to avoid the general area until further notice. There are street closings along Broome Street, Infantino Ave-" She hung up on the mechanical voice and started shifting the new supplies from her cupboard to her purse.

"Well, at least the boys will eat through those free house calls I gave them all at once." She said to herself. Then she looked up at her new kitten, who was mewling softly from its perch on an equally new and elaborate scratching tower. "Ain't that right Muffin?"

She scooped up the kitten and cuddled it. "Who's the cutest little kitty in the world? Oh yes it's you! You're an even better snuggler than the idiot who bought you! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Yeah, let's talk about that."

Kendra froze. "Who's there and how the hell did you get into my house?" She whipped her head around suspiciously and started edging towards the panel with her emergency lines in them.

"Same way you got all those nifty traps I took care of." The sharp voice said. "By taking advantage of a loveable goof in a costume."

Kendra's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

The woman finally stepped into sight. She had an absolute zero gun trained on Kendra, along with a look of loathing completely visible behind her orange mask. "You can call me Golden Glider. And just as soon as I figure out what to do to you, you are so _dead_ for what you did to Lenny!"

**PRESENT**

"Holy crap!" Mick turned angrily towards Len. "Just what the effing hell'd you do to the place?"

"Me? This ain't my work!" Len yelled. "I just helped pay to get the work done! There weren't any cold traps put in!"

"Then what the frig happened?" Mick demanded, waving an angry hand at Kendra's house, most of which was iced over.

Len scowled. "Mr. Freeze or Killer Frost maybe? We know the lady got around before she settled with us. Call Piper. None of the traps were sprung and I God damn want to know why."

The two men walked into the house, Mick fumbling in a pocket for his cell phone. "Muffin?" He passed his phone off to Len and went to scoop up the shivering kitten.

"Oh for fuck's-Mick what the hell is _that_?"

"I just got him for her the other night."

"Son of a fucking-"

"What the hell is your problem anyway?" Mick shouted.

"My problem? You fucking Kendra-that's my problem!"

"You know?"

"Yeah. She told me." Len's anger quickly dissipated. He kicked a block of ice down the hall, and when he looked up his expressionless leader mask was back in place.

"Len, I didn't mean to-"

"Shut it. If it's not about finding her and killing the idiot who did this, I don't want to hear it."

"'Kay. Len, there's blood on the kitten and the cat ain't bleeding."

Len handed Mick back his phone. "Right, call Hartley. I need a drink."

* * *

"I'm not working." Piper hung up the phone without listening for a response and re-draped himself over James. He was just starting to drift off again when the phone started ringing. "Fucking no!" He hung it up again.

James hugged the arm that was flung over him, letting out a little squeak. "You're not going to cave, right?"

"Course not." Piper breathed. "You said you needed me, and those falling nightmares sound terrible."

"They are. Papa laughing at me, and then the whole stupid circus pointing and laughing at me while I hyperventilated. It fucking sucked." He kept his tone light, but James was shaking.

"James, I'm so-" The phone started ringing again. "That's it, I'm unplugging the damn thing. James, c'mon, leggo. I'll be right back, I promise."

"Just let it ring. Please?"

"…fine. James…are you always like this after a fall?"

"Um…yeah, pretty much. I-I'm sorry. I'll work on it again so you don't have to-"

"No, it's okay. I don't mind. I want you to tell me when you need me, okay?" Piper ran his hand through James' hair, since the petting was calming him down, all the while entertaining cheery fantasies of killing Flash as he cuddled his anxiety ridden boyfriend. And eventually the phone did stop ringing.

Unfortunately Heatwave broke down the front door about four seconds afterwards. Piper shot right up in bed, James clinging to his back. He reached under the mattress and extracted a flute.

"Hartley!" Mick yelled.

"Oh." Piper breathed a small sigh of relief and lowered the flute. "Will you guys take a hint! Whatever it is, _no_! Now go away!"

"Didja think that if we're being this persistent it might be-whoa, did not need to see that!" Mick backed right out of the bedroom again with a hand thrown over his eyes.

Piper scowled. "It's not like we're naked." They had boxers on. Piper was even wearing a t-shirt.

James poked Piper's side. "You should see what's going on."

"You sure?"

"I'm just being a baby. I'm okay really."

"James, I'll stay with you."

"I know." James leaned in for a quick peck. "And that's good enough."

"Well if you're sure."

"Are you guys wearing clothes?" Mick yelled from the living room.

"We were wearing clothes when you barged in!" Piper yelled back. "Fucking asshole." He climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants, then stormed over to the door. "So what the hell is it?"

"Kendra. Someone got past all the traps and grabbed her. Cold wants you to check the place out."

Piper nodded. "Kay. I'm on it. I'll be over in ten minutes, I just need to pack some-"

"I'm driving you back. Snart says you drive like an old woman."

Piper scowled. "Alright, alright! Just…gah, get out of my way." He started tossing things into a duffel. Before Heatwave herded him out of the apartment Piper poked in on James. "I'll be back as soon as I'm able. I love you."

"Love you too Pookie. Be careful."

"C'mon, let's go, let's go!"

James winced as the door slammed shut. He pouted, glancing with disdain at the empty (and lonely) bed. Then an idea struck him.

A few minutes later James was contentedly slumbering, hugging a Kelly green body pillow with a stocking cap draped over the top and Piper's cologne spritzed on it.

* * *

"_Mew_."

"Cut it out."

"_Mew."_

"I don't know where she is yet. I can't bring her back."

"_Mew."_

"You're not cute enough to keep getting away with that." Len trained a cold gun on Muffin, who immediately started nuzzling it. "Get off of that!" He shook the gun and the kitten jumped away, frightened. "Can't believe he bought her a freaking…heh. Of course the roses look like shit compared to a kitten."

He tentatively reached out a hand to skritch the kitten's ears (not that he'd ever admit it later), when one of Kendra's emergency lines started buzzing. Len looked at it uncomprehendingly for a few seconds, then dove to pick it up.

"Yeah?"

"Len?" It was Kendra, sounding breathless and terrified.

"Kendra. Oh, thank God you're alive! You're okay, right? Are you okay? Where do we need to go? Who do I need to kill?"

"Len, please, she's still after me! I, I'm bleeding and it's your fault! It's your fucking sister, she-she's coming back. Please don't let me die! I think I'm at Roscoe's house." Then she hung up.

Len stared in shock at the emergency phone. It _had _been Roscoe's color that lit up. "Huh." Feeling a bit dazed, he stowed his cold gun and went out to his car.

* * *

"_Mew."_

"Hi Muffin. Didn't happen to see where Len went, didja?" Mick asked, skritching the kitty's ears.

"…who bought the cat?" Piper asked. He'd upended a sack of supplies and was in the process of removing a panel in the wall of Kendra's entryway.

"Me. Uh, it was just a thank you-"

"I know you're involved with Kendra."

"Oh."

"And yes, I am judging you for it." Piper continued.

"Judging me? What the hell are you judging me for?" Mick asked. "I didn't even know Snart was sweet on her till a few days ago."

"Mick? Kidding. James won't be though. He's friends with Len and Len's not taking it well at all." Piper reached out blindly for a screwdriver. Mick kicked it into his hand.

"Yeah, got that. It's not my fault though. Kendra didn't want to tell anyone we were seeing each other."

"Mm. She's definitely not as sweet as she lets on. I think she's realized that the other guys do more for her if they think they have a shot with her. Can you hand me those pliers?"

"Sure. You think that's it? Well, I guess we did fix her house for her."

"And Len always pays about double what she asks, and she asks a good amount already." Piper added.

Mick frowned. "I think she thinks I'm dumb too. She keeps calling me sweet and changing the subject when we talk. I might dump her when this is over. I think it's too much trouble. Y'think that'll make Len happy, or just make it worse?"

"Dunno. I'm not an expert at heterosexual relationships or anything."

"No, I suppose you wouldn't be. So…you and Trickster? _Really_?"

"Yep. Me and Trickster."

Mick shook his head. "Didn't expect that. I mean, I noticed the guy's been spending a lot of time with you, but…man. Well good for you guys, I guess. I'll make sure I respect your privacy in the future. Definitely don't need to see that again."

"Much obliged." Piper pulled himself into a sitting position and wiped off his hands with a rag. "Someone disarmed the traps."

"Yeah, go figure. None of them went off."

"I know. Mick, someone who knew what they were doing disarmed them. Someone with a schematic or something."

"Oh." Mick frowned, puzzled. "One of the contractors?"

"No, I don't think that's likely. James and I installed them ourselves, so unless the contractors were looking over our shoulders while we did so...I think it's much more likely that someone broke into Len's house and took the schematics. He asked us all to leave him copies of our traps in case they were ever needed, and we both know he doesn't keep his house very secure."

"You really think that's more likely?" Mick snorted. "I'm gonna go pay those workers a visit and get some answers."

Piper rolled his eyes. "You do that, I guess." He scooped up the kitten and zipped it up in his sweatshirt. "I'll take care of Muffin, I guess. Gimme a call if you hear from Len."

* * *

Len sat in his car and stared at Roscoe's darkened house, wondering what he should do. His mind was buzzing with different ways this situation could be a trap.

But how would anybody know to use Lisa? Anyone who wanted to get to him or Kendra wouldn't know about his sister.

He checked the setting on his gun one more time before walking up to the front door, which he had to kick open. He heard screaming coming from the basement. "Shit!" Len ran through the house and down the stairs, and aimed his gun at his sister. "Lisa, stop it! What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you wearing?" He couldn't help but ask.

Her outfit looked a little like one of her figure skating costumes, except for the stylish orange mask and the spatters of blood on the front. Kendra was on the floor in front of her, immobilized by massive blocks of ice over her hands and feet. It looked like Lisa had been kicking her with her skates. Her face, chest and stomach were covered with a healthy mix of surface lacerations and deep gouges.

Kendra whimpered softly, fixing Len with pleading brown eyes.

"Lenny?" Lisa locked eyes with him, looking momentarily lost. Then her eyes hardened over. "Get outta here Lenny. You don't need to see this."

Len cocked his cold gun. "I'm warning you Leese, get away from her."

"You're not gonna shoot me."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, but I'll sure as hell freeze you if you take one more chunk out of Kendra." He took a cautious step closer, waited to see if Lisa did anything, and then jogged the rest of the way down the stairs.

Lisa stood her ground, still between him and Kendra. "The bitch had it coming. She's just using all of you guys. She doesn't care about any of you. She's got as much emotional investment in Heatwave as she does in the big pink vibrator under her bed. But the vibrator doesn't take you out shopping. Isn't that what you said you little bitch?" Lisa asked.

Kendra let out a sob. "P-please don't kill me! I'll d-do anything you w-want!"

"It's okay Kendra, you're not gonna die." Len quickly looked away from the mangled crime doctor and turned back to his sister. "Okay, I think I get what you were going for. You saw me all depressed over this girl and you thought this would make me feel better somehow, right?"

"I, well, I couldn't just let her get away with-"

"_It ain't making me feel better_." He growled.

"I can see that. But Len, she made you not-cry! I can't, no one's supposed to do that to us anymore!" Lisa frowned. "And it was also practice. I'm thinking of doing this to someone Flash loves. Whaddya say Dr. Skank? Effective torture?"

"P-please let me go!"

Len shoved past Lisa, who made no move to stop him, fiddled with his gun and melted off the ice blocks that were pinning Kendra in place. He gently cradled her in his arms, lifted her up and started towards the stairs.

"Lenny…?"

"We'll talk later Lisa. I've gotta get her to a hospital. Frankly, I don't know another competent crime doctor."

* * *

Piper got a phone call from Mick just as he was getting back to his apartment, informing him Kendra was in the hospital and Len was on his way to Iron Heights. Mick hung up on him when Piper asked when he'd be around to collect the kitten.

"Shit. I don't want you." He said to the little furry head sticking out the top of his sweatshirt. Muffin looked up at him and mewed pitifully. "What? What is it?" Then the cat peed. "Great, just great."

He dumped the kitten in the kitchen sink, stripped out of the sweatshirt and ruined t-shirt and sponge bathed off the two of them. Then he found an empty pan and tore up some newspaper to make a temporary litter box. He filled a little dish with water and opened a can of tuna for the kitten. "There. Now don't get too cozy. You're going straight to the shelter in the morning."

"_Mew._"

"Goodnight." Piper trudged into the bedroom, saw James snuggling the body pillow, smirked, and replaced his stand-in.


	6. Chapter 6

Piper was juggling a cat carrier, an over-stuffed reusable shopping bag and his keys the next time he bumped into James-the-architect in the hallway. He was trying to lock his apartment door behind him, but the yowling kitten running back and forth along the cat carrier was doing its damndest to make that an impossible chore.

"Hey, do you need me to hold something?" James offered.

To his credit, Piper managed not to drop anything. He turned around and smiled gratefully. "Sure. Can you take this?" He passed over the cat carrier and successfully locked the door.

"Hey there cutie." James cooed at the kitten, who instantly quieted. It jogged over to the little slats in the carrier and bumped noses with James. "Your kitten's adorable."

"It's not mine. I'm bringing it to the shelter."

"Oh. Is it a stray then?"

"Kinda." Piper answered. "Why, do you want him?"

"For real? Yeah, that'd be great. You sure you don't want him?" James was already opening the carrier and extracting the kitten, who started purring and rubbing up against him.

"By all means. That's one more errand I won't have to run."

"Not a cat person, huh?" James guessed.

"Not in the least. I prefer rodents, and where cats eat them, well it's not a good combination."

"Yeah, I can see that. Well thanks for the kitten. Have fun with your errands."

Piper sighed. "If only. Uh, I mean sure. Thanks. See you later."

* * *

Piper's first stop brought him to the hospital to check up on Kendra. He almost walked into a nurse who was carrying a massive bouquet of flowers out of the room. The nurse was grumbling under her breath about her bitch of a patient.

Eyebrows raised, Piper edged into a barren hospital room. He'd expected the place to be full of flowers and get well cards, considering Kendra's clientele.

Then again, that was the reason she was here. Right.

Piper waved nervously from the doorway. "Hi Kendra. Um…just wanted to check up on you."

"It's okay Piper, _you_ can come in. But if Mick or any of the others try to visit me again I'm going to tell the doctors who they really are and have them shipped to Iron Heights with Len." Other than the bandages and the shadows under her eyes, she looked like her normal self at least. Piper sat down next to her and nervously tapped his hands against his knees.

"So…um. Sorry about everything."

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault." She sighed. "As soon as they let me out of here I'm getting out of the cities though. Not sure where I'm going to move this time, but I think I'm just about done crime doctoring for super criminals."

"Ah." He'd seen that coming, but it was still bad news. "We're going to have a hard time replacing you."

"I'm fully aware of that."

"Don't get me wrong, I understand. I'd be concerned for your mental health if you wanted to stay after this, but-"

"I'll miss some of you boys too." She smiled sadly at him. "You and Trickster in particular. You were great customers." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Good luck hon."

"Yeah, you too. Well, I guess I'd better get going. I have a lot to do today." He stood up and stretched.

"Anything exciting?"

"Nothing to scan the news for. Well, Sam's trying to get a group together to bust Len out of Iron Heights, that might be newsworthy."

She scowled. "Can you wait until I'm out of the hospital please? Preferably out of the state?"

"Kendra, he'd never hurt-"

"_I don't want to see him again as long as I live_."

He took an unconscious step away from her hospital bed. "Kay. Um, yeah. I can talk to Sam about holding off for a little bit. Feel better Kendra."

"Bye Piper."

* * *

Piper was just leaving Gambi's with a new set of costumes when his cell phone started ringing. He stuffed the bags into his trunk and felt along his pockets until he got his fingers on the phone. "Hello?"

"Pookie? Where are you?"

Piper pinched the bridge of his nose. "Running errands. I told you I'd be busy today. Can you try not to whine at me?"

"S-sorry…I've got a headache. It makes me whiny. Um…the kitten's gone. Was I supposed to be watching it?" James actually sounded a little nervous. Piper smirked.

"No, no. One of the errands was bringing Muffin to the shelter." He sat down on the hood of his car, resigned to a short conversation before he was off anywhere else. "But I didn't even have to. James-the-architect took him."

"…you gave your crush a kitten?"

Scowling, Piper hung up on him. The phone immediately started ringing again. After several minutes of this, Piper realized his boyfriend was more stubborn than he had the patience for, and he answered it. "For the last time, I do NOT have a crush on James!"

"Okay, okay, geeze! God you're touchy lately. But you know the guy is really, disgustingly into you, right?"

"Yeah, I'm aware." Piper frowned. "But what do you want me to do about it?"

"I dunno. Just think giving him a cute little kitten was a bad plan, personally. So, um…what time do you think you'll be home?"

"Dunno. I stopped by to see Kendra, she's leaving the state by the way-"

"Good." There was a healthy amount of bitterness in James' tone there.

"Ah huh. I picked up the new costumes. Gambi was amazed at what you did to the last one-"

"What _Flash_ did to the last one!" James exclaimed.

"Whatever. Apparently fabric doesn't normally burn quite like that. Anyway, I've still got to pick up a new set of pliers from the store and, um, yeah, a few other things. I'll probably be home in a few hours." He glanced at the backseat of his car, more specifically at the Toys 'R Us bag nestled amongst his reusable shopping bags.

"Okay Pookie. I'm gonna take an aspirin or something and watch some cartoons. See ya later."

"Yeah, bye." Piper hung up, took another look at the bag, and then started for the industrial park.

* * *

Osgood Rathaway said a terse goodbye to his secretary before rushing out of the office building for his car. An unexpected meeting had completely thrown his schedule off, and now he was running late for his daughter's birthday party. Considering he still had to pick up a few things for the party, his wife was going to be in a mood by the time he got in. If he'd thought of it, he could have called the maid and had her do the errands. Oh well, too late for that now.

Osgood was busy mentally planning out the best route to take with the fewest stop lights as he jogged to his car and therefore didn't really notice the music. In fact, he didn't notice it until it stopped, and he found himself in a shadowy corner of the parking garage that happened to be in a security camera blind spot.

Hartley was standing in front of him in a hooded sweatshirt holding a gimmicked flute. He smiled easily, like the meeting was pleasant instead of abhorrent. "Hello Dad."

Osgood backed away, reaching for his cell phone. "Stay back!" He dialed 9 and 1 but couldn't bring himself to push the 1 again.

"Dad, come on, I just want to talk."

"I thought I'd made myself perfectly clear Hartley. We're not interested in talking to you ever again."

He inhaled sharply. "It's been a few years. You don't…miss me at all?"

"No." Osgood lied.

In truth, he was looking Hartley over for signs of injury or malnourishment (he'd had a tendency to skip meals when he was younger, often needing to be reminded to put his music collection away and eat). Osgood and Rachel had spent sleepless nights following the news, making sure the Pied Piper wasn't getting himself killed fighting the Flash, or in an ill-conceived team up. But he _couldn't_ let Hartley back into their lives, not while he was so dangerous and unstable. Not with how impressionable Jerrie was.

Hartley looked stung, but quickly slipped into an expressionless mask. "I was hoping you might let me visit Jerrie. You can tell her whatever you want, I just want to give her a birthday hug and a present." Though he was affecting a casual demeanor, it was pretty obvious how badly Hartley wanted the visit.

Which was too bad, because Osgood certainly couldn't allow it. "Don't be ridiculous! We're protecting Jerrie _from_ you!"

"I would never hurt my sister!" Hartley yelled. "I'm not some kind of monster-"

"No, you're a deviant bank robbing hoodlum! You're a _wanted criminal_, Hartley. How in good conscience could I expose Jerrie to you? She's so innocent and confused about the whole mess."

"Dad, please. Just five minutes?" Hartley's mask dropped entirely as he fixed pleading eyes on his father. Osgood was sharply reminded of better times, of Hartley begging for just one more CD (and if he got it, he'd really do his homework this time), to stay up for just a half hour longer for a TV show, or any other number of innocent requests he'd happily indulged. But he couldn't this time. Hartley was too dangerous, too unstable.

And there was Jerrie to think of.

"If I catch you near our property I will call the police. Stay away from us. You'll only make your mother cry."

"Dad…"

* * *

"Pookie, you home?" James called. He didn't get a response, but there was music playing in the bedroom. James set down the box of movies and video games he'd brought with him from his house and went over to knock on the open bedroom door. "Piper?"

Piper was lying face down on the bed with a pillow over his head; this was the third time James had caught him like this in the past week. The new-couple euphoria had long worn off, and now James was discovering to his displeasure just how moody a human being he'd fallen in love with.

Well, at least lately he was pretty friggin' moody.

He sat down next to Piper and plucked the pillow off of him. Piper was wearing real clothes at least, that was a good sign. He'd been wearing pajamas and old sweats lately, something James had noticed as coinciding with depressive cycles. He ran a hand through the messy orange hair and rubbed soothing circles on Piper's back. "Hey Hart, you okay?"

"No…" Piper finally answered. He sat up, and for a moment James saw Piper's pain etched into his face, burning in his eyes. Then Piper curled up against him, burying his face in James' shirt. James hugged him protectively.

"Baby, were you crying?"

"My…my abandonment issues are acting up a-again."

"It's okay, ssh…I'm not going anywhere. So don't worry about being abandoned."

"It's, it's not just that. I…James, I don't want to be a super villain anymore! I want-I want my parents to l-love me again, and I want to hug my sister on her birthday and I want my family back. I hate this life-I don't want to fight the Flash anymore, or have to do my charity work with aliases! But I can't…I don't know how to stop…" Piper shook with fresh sobs.

James' stomach clenched. He sincerely hoped Piper didn't mean anything he'd said beyond missing his family. 'He's just having a bad day, he's just…fuck, what if he means it?' James was intricately connected to Piper's life as a criminal. If he gave up the one, would he give up the other? 'Great, there go _my_ abandonment issues'.

"Piper, ssh, it's okay…it's okay, if you're that unhappy we'll fix things, okay? Come on, you've got me now and one of my principal goals in life is to make you happy. Pookie?"

"Y-you do make me happy…which is why I'm so fucking scared I'm going to push you away." Piper choked out.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. No need to worry about being abandoned."

"Promise?" He sounded so young and scared, nothing like the confident super villain James was used to. God, he really didn't want Piper to quit.

"I promise. I'm not leaving you." James kissed the top of his head and tightened the embrace.

After a few more minutes of soothing nonsense and reassurances, Piper got control of his breathing and gradually the hug shifted to more of a genuine cuddle. Piper nuzzled against James and leaned up for a kiss.

"You're perfect." Piper murmured.

"So are you."

"James, clearly I'm not-"

"Circumstances aside, you are. And I love you. So tell me what's up. How do I help?"

"You can't." Piper answered. James snorted derisively.

"The Trickster begs to differ."

"It's my family James, and it's personal. You're doing all the help you can right now." Piper snuggled closer and sighed in near-contentment. "I'd be stark raving mad without you."

"Not to mention dying from some kind of nutritional deficiency. By the by, the rats that have started hanging out in the apartment I keep meticulously clean despite your sabotage…"

"You're not calling an exterminator. I invited them in."

"Yeah, I saw you petting one of them the other day. That's not hygienic babe. You could catch a disease."

"I'm fine." Piper objected.

"If you want a rat, we can go to the pet store and get a nice clean caged one."

"I like the ones I've already met. Wouldn't say no to the pet store one, mind you, but I'm not going to stop inviting the other ones in."

"So I should woo you with rats?" James asked. "I mean, it's creative, I'll give you that. Way more unique than flowers."

Piper laughed, and James finally considered his job as a comforting boyfriend successful.

* * *

The next afternoon, Piper woke up to tiny little feet scrabbling along the pillow just above his head. He peeked out from the covers and spied a chubby white rat with a blue and orange striped bow around his neck gnawing on the edge of the pillow case. He let out a squeal of delight and hugged the rat to his chest.

James walked into the room, leaning against the doorway. He smiled, watching Piper giddily hug his new pet. The sincere joy Piper exuded brought home exactly how miserable he'd been lately. Clearly more than a pet was necessary to truly remedy the situation, but James was going to tackle the messy stuff later. For now, the rat was a good start.

"You like him?" James asked.

"Of course! He's so handsome! Though his fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired."

"Nonsense. He's clearly a fashionista. That bow? It's daring. Not every rat could pull that off."

"Mm. I think I'll name him JJ."

"Hey! I don't care how well he rocks my colors, I'd rather you not name a plague bag after me."

Piper held the rat up. "But look at that sweet little mischievous face."

"How'd you feel if I named a cockroach after you?" James asked.

Piper considered. "I suppose that would depend upon how you feel about cockroaches and what you associate with them. If you loved them the way I love rats, I'd find it endearing."

"Damn you and your logic. Fine. Call the vermin JJ. But don't tell Len."

"Who's the handsomest rodent in the world? It's you, yes you are!"

"Oh God is that gonna get old quick." James whined, but he was smiling. "Glad you're happy though babe."

"I am. Very much so. Thank you James."

"Anything for my Pookie. By the way, how d'ya think you'd be at setting up a Habitrail? I'm having trouble, and you're a helluva lot more handy with this stuff than me."

"He doesn't need to live in a-"

"Rats track urine."

"But James-"

"And they get everywhere. I'm never cooking here again if JJ's free range." And the house happened to smell like delicious, delicious crepes and coffee at the moment.

Piper pouted. "Fine. But I'm keeping him with me nearly constantly."

"I figured you would."

* * *

"Piper, the rat's staring at me."

"Take it as a compliment." Piper suggested.

James was sprawled across the couch with a volume of Carl Barks Disney comics he'd been looking forward to reading since he'd made up his mind to steal it from the collectibles store that morning. But JJ was wigging him out, to the point where he couldn't even get into Donald and Scrooge's steam shovel fight.

Piper was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, surrounded by notebooks, reference books and equipment. He'd been busy working on his project all morning, and the rat (today sporting Piper's colors) was perched on his shoulder. JJ was facing behind Piper towards the sofa, beady little eyes fixed unwaveringly on James. He'd been like that since James had sat down.

"Can you make him stop?"

"Um, no, not really. Now stop bothering me. I'm working."

"I'm working too! Well, trying to. If your stupid rat'll let me."

"James, you're reading comics."

"Right. For me, this is research." James whined defensively. "I get ideas for gimmicks from this stuff."

"If JJ's bothering you that much you could always read somewhere else. Your apartment, for example." Piper set down the warped piece of metal he was holding and frowned. "I still don't understand why you're keeping that place. You never spend any time there anymore."

"Yeah, but say Flash finds out about this place. Never hurts to have more than one. I've got a couple of workshops that double as safe houses in Keystone too."

"Mm. I've got a hideout in the suburbs around Central. Alright, fair point. I thought you were just afraid someone would notice we're living together and out you."

"Yeah, that too."

Piper frowned. "You could just come out."

"I could." James agreed, and hid behind his comic books.

"So are you going to?"

"Going to what?"

"Are you going to come out?" Piper yelled.

"Ida know. Not yet." James mumbled.

"Well why not?" Piper stood up suddenly, turning to face James. JJ almost fell off his shoulder.

James stared up at him, a sad puppy look on his face. "We already talked about this. I'm just not ready Pookie. I'm sorry if it's pissing you off."

Piper sighed. "It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I'll…I'll try to get over it." He threw his things into a box and stomped over to the bedroom.

"Piper? Are you-" The door slammed shut. "-okay?" James frowned. "I don't think I can get enough rats for this."

* * *

The next morning James woke up alone in bed, which was just plain unusual. He was typically up at least a couple hours before Piper, who slept so cuddled up to James that he had to extract himself from his boyfriend as part of his morning routine. He felt along the bed but didn't even notice a warm spot.

Rubbing at his eyes, he walked into the living room and blinked a few times. The floor was covered with tools, scraps of metal and bits of wire. In his haste, Piper had even left some notes and schematics out (things he'd become particularly secretive about recently). James looked through them, but he couldn't make sense of it. Too much sonics jargon for him to follow. Sighing, he cleaned it up, made breakfast, filled JJ's food dish and freshened his water bottle, and waited to hear from his pain in the ass of a boyfriend.


	7. Chapter 7

James finally dragged himself out of bed around ten o'clock. He'd been awake since seven or so, and had lain curled in the blankets staring at the door, wondering where his boyfriend was and if the man were ever planning on coming home again.

He hoped Piper was safe, at least.

James showered, partially dressed himself (boxers, slippers and bathrobe) and made his way to the kitchen. His stomach was rumbling, but he didn't really feel like cooking. No point making anything fancy if there wasn't anyone to share it with. He imitated Piper and opened a can of Spaghettios, fetched a spoon, and sat down in front of the TV.

The video of Droopy shorts didn't really hold his attention. His eyes kept darting towards the phone. It had been three days since he'd heard from Piper. That was long, even for him and his recent mood swings. They were supposed to be living together (well, _mostly _living together). Just where the hell was Piper sleeping?

_Was_ he sleeping? He'd looked pretty out of it lately. And he wasn't making the rounds at any of his favorite volunteer spots (James had checked-Star and Barbarella were getting anxious too).

When the phone actually did ring, initially James wasn't sure how to respond, staring confusedly at the device. When his mind caught up with him, he jumped up and grabbed the phone, almost knocking the end table over. "Hello?"

"Hey JJ, you okay?" Oh. It was Mark.

"Yeah, fine." Bullshit, the disappointment was audible…except Mark was self absorbed enough not to notice.

"You watching the news?"

"No. Why?"

"Turn on Picture News." Mark instructed. James paused his video and flipped to the appropriate channel, which was running a story on the recent destruction of the Flash Museum (he'd been collecting newspaper clippings for a scrapbook).

"That happened two days ago," James said, somewhat annoyed.

"Wait for it…"

James sat down and couldn't help but smirk as the station ran footage of a press conference in which mayor Pinchot expressed his refusal to refurbish the museum. The clip was followed by an interview with some expert or other theorizing about the link between the mayor's stance and Flash's manslaughter trial.

"They've run the story three times so far," Mark said, radiating glee. "I'm taping it."

"Cool. Thanks for calling me dude." James abruptly hung up, and then did a celebratory back flip over the couch, ran into the bedroom, jumped onto the bed and hugged a pillow to his chest.

Piper was okay! …well, as of the press conference anyway. Mark hadn't caught it, and no one else probably had, but the mayor was responding to hypnotic command. James recognized his boyfriend's style. That was why Piper had disappeared, so he could go screw with the Flash.

"He should have invited me," James muttered, mood darkening again.

"Like you never pull heists without me." The assertion was followed by the sound of the front door being kicked closed.

James jumped up and raced into the living room where Piper was pulling his boots off. He was promptly tackle-hugged, which he (for some reason) didn't see coming, and so they both landed on the hardwood floor, James straddling Piper's waist.

"Where the HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" James yelled. Instead of giving the flustered criminal a chance to respond, he kissed Piper passionately, following it up with a smattering of lighter kisses all over his face.

Piper tangled a hand in James' hair and pulled his head away so he could appreciate the full strength of his glare. "Hi."

"Hi Pookie. Missed you."

"I gathered. Can you let me up please?"

"Sorry." James got up and helped Piper to his feet. He didn't let go of Piper's hands though.

Piper sighed, clearly annoyed. "James, I've been working nonstop for three days. Can you take the clinging down a notch? I really want a shower and bed."

"You-you disappeared for three days, you didn't tell me where you were going and _that's_ all you've got to say?"

"I'm tired, and I'm not in the mood to fight."

"Well too bad, you're being a douche! What the hell?"

Piper didn't answer. He scowled and walked for the bathroom. James followed him.

"Hey, come on! I've been worried like crazy! Don't you have _anything_ to say?"

"…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Uh huh. So what the hell happened?" James crossed his arms over his chest. Piper tapped his fingers impatiently against the doorway, shooting a longing glance over his shoulder towards the shower. "Why didn't you call me?"

"…I didn't think to."

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know James. If I did I'd tell you, but I honestly don't have an answer. I just…got really focused on what I was doing. I'm sorry."

"You don't sound it," James pointed out.

"Because I'm tired and pissy. Which is why we should talk after I nap."

"Wait, when was the last time you slept?" James asked, suddenly suspicious. Piper sighed. "Was I there?" He nodded. "You are such a stupid asshole. _You stupid asshole_!" James shoved him. "Are you trying to kill yourself? Pissing off the Flash while you're sleep deprived?"

"Flash can't tell it was me," Piper answered weakly. He wiped at his eyes. "Please, please just bitch at me later," He pleaded. James fumed silently another moment, but his anger dissipated under the weight of his concern. He pulled Piper into an embrace and gently kissed him.

"I won't yell anymore. I'm just worried…you really freaked me out."

Piper returned the hug. "Sorry." He sounded more sincere that time. James kissed his temple.

"S'okay. Take your shower and go to bed. I'll bug you later."

* * *

Piper woke up with the same gnawing ache that had driven him from his home to his personal hideout to begin with. He felt like he could stand to sleep for another ten hours or so, but he wasn't actually tired, just…weary.

James was next to him in bed, curled towards Piper without touching him. He was still wearing the bathrobe and boxers, and had even worn his slippers to bed. Piper smiled, reaching over to tenderly stroke back the soft blond hair. He felt bad about worrying James so much, something he'd done completely unintentionally. After so many years of the people who should have been important to him treating him with apathy or closing themselves off to him altogether, he just wasn't used to genuine affection anymore…at least, that's what he was telling himself.

"Hi," James whispered, then slowly opened his eyes, a small smile on his face. "Feeling better Pookie?"

"Yes," Piper lied. "Are you still mad at me?"

James shook his head. "I told you, I wasn't mad, just worried. You could have gotten yourself hurt."

"I'd be mad at me."

"You are mad at you," James pointed out with a humorless laugh. "That's the problem, isn't it?" He sat up and stretched. "So what's your plan this time? A heist, or just being a pain in Flash's shiny red keister?"

"The latter."

"Ah. Need help with anything?"

"No, I'm working this one solo. No offense James-"

"It's cool. We've been teaming up a lot lately. I understand wanting to do a solo job every now and then." He still looked hurt though. Piper leaned over and rested his head on James' shoulder. James kissed the top of his head and slung an arm around him. "I'm sorry you feel like crap. I want to help, if you'll let me."

"As soon as I figure out how, you'll be the first to know," Piper muttered.

* * *

"Yeah, yeah he's back." James cradled the phone against his ear with his shoulder and reached along the spice rack until he found the rosemary. "Showed up after the press conference."

"That's good to hear. Are you guys looking for work?" Len asked.

"Nah, not at the moment. Piper's a little overwhelmed and I've got my hands full with…well, him." He lowered his voice for that last part.

"Yeah, he seemed a little moody again."

"Mm, but it can't be that bad. The Flash Museum thing was him, so he's still on his game, at least," James said, more to convince himself than Len. "So how are you doing? Sorry I didn't go with the guys to bust you outta Iron Heights."

"It's fine. I'm okay." Len's voice was utterly nonchalant. James doubted he'd actually gotten over the sting of Kendra's rejection, but Len was one of the few people on the planet who functioned better while bottling up their problems, so he decided not to push it.

"Well that's good. We should do a poker game again sometime soon. There's a guy from my building I want to invite…"

"James, no!" Piper called from the living room.

"Dammit. Stupid robot ears."

Len sounded amused. "We don't bring civilians to the poker games kid. Not unless we're looking to recruit them. And Hartley already told me about the architect friend you're trying to scare away. Come up with something else."

James sighed. "Will do."

"James?" Piper hovered by the doorway to the kitchen, cuddling JJ in his arms. "I need the phone."

"Kay. Len, gotta go."

"Okay kid. Tell Piper I said hi."

"Sure thing. Bye." He hung up and handed the phone off, then turned back to the vegetables he was sautéing. "How's it smell?"

"Wonderful." Piper leaned over and kissed the side of his face. "I'll be right back."

"Kay." James waited until Piper had disappeared into the bedroom, then turned off the burner and, as quietly as he was able, crept over to the bedroom door. He carefully sat down and listened to the conversation.

"-who is simply appalled by your refusal to rebuild the Flash Museum. I always thought Central City belonged to a country where a man is innocent until proven guilty."

Piper went silent as he was chewed out by whoever he'd been calling. He hung up, giggling to himself, then opened the door and peered down at James, who fixed a sweet smile on his face. "H-hey. Snooping would be an awfully strong word for what this is, just so you know."

Piper rolled his eyes. "I'm hypnotizing the mayor long term. I was just checking up on it to see if it was still working."

"Ah, cool. So what's the next phase of your plan?"

"Eating supper, playing with JJ and going to bed."

"The city trembles with fear babe." James got up and jogged back to the kitchen to finish cooking. "So…are you just gonna play with the JJ that has whiskers tonight, or…?"

"Depends. Will the full sized one please mind his own business from hereon out? I already told you I want to work this plan solo."

James sighed. "I know. But that just makes it all the more enticing for me."

"James-"

"I'll stop snooping. Y'know, since I'm getting caught. Wanna have a date night?"

Piper stroked his rat, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Video games and ice cream or pizza and movies?"

"Well we could _go_ somewhere." James started spooning pasta and veggies into a bowl and handed it off to Piper. "It's been awhile since I took you anywhere. Are there any concerts we could crash? Fancy exhibits you want to break into and check out?"

"N-no, I'd rather stay in."

James sighed. "Okay. Video games and ice-cream then."

* * *

The next time James listened in while Piper made a phone call he was more careful.

In an effort to cheer Piper up, James agreed to watch a boring ass PBS special on some obscure blues musicians, and even though it was only five o'clock James found himself nodding off. He woke up with a blanket thrown over him on the couch, the TV off, and Piper pacing back and forth behind him.

He was rocking his villain-voice. James closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

"Listen carefully. At precisely six 'o five this evening, a hidden bomb planted in the desk of newscaster Rick Trent will explode on the air -live-for millions of viewers to see. A bit ostentatious on my part perhaps but, after all, isn't that station's motto 'see the news as it happens'?" Piper flopped down onto a chair across from the couch.

James cautiously cracked an eye to peek at him, noting the way he impatiently tapped his fingers against the armrest of the couch, and how his legs were shaking. Jitters didn't come close to describing it. He'd changed into his costume too. What the fucking fuck..?

"I know…I know…" He drawled, still in the theatrical Pied Piper voice. "You're probably thinking this is just one of those crank calls. But are you willing to bet Rick Trent's life to find out?"

A gleeful smile on his face, Piper hung up the phone, changed the channel on the TV and sat back to watch. Admittedly, Flash's televised freak out was pretty amusing. James hoped Piper had thought to tape it so he could watch it later with his eyes all the way open. Piper's prank went off perfectly; there was no bomb in the news reporter's desk, but Flash demolished the hell out of it to make sure, and the station cut him off before he could explain the threat.

Piper giggled to himself, then picked up the phone again. "Hello there Mr. Mayor," he greeted, "You remember me- the one constituent you are absolutely compelled to listen to…ah, that's more like it. You're scheduled to appear on a local TV interview show tonight and this is what you're going to say-"

Oh. Oh, they _so _needed to tape that too. Mayor Pinchot absolutely loved Flash, but as long as Piper's hypnotism held, and James had absolute faith in his baby's gimmicks, Pinchot would be talking trash like a Rogue.

Piper hung up again, then paced around the living room for a few minutes. James was just considering feigning having woken up when Piper crouched down next to him and smoothed back some of his hair. "Sleep well love." Then he got up and left.

James shot up and dove for his room to change into his work clothes. He pulled on a pair of airwalkers and was out the window just in time to spot Piper's car and follow him to his hideout.

* * *

Piper stared blankly at the sonics equipment in his Central City base, almost uncomprehendingly. "I just…what did I just try to do?" He muttered to himself.

He'd snuck out so he could play his games with the Flash uninterrupted. He'd carefully crafted exactly what he wanted Mayor Pinchot to say during that television interview, and if James woke up and got the gist of what he was doing, there was nothing he'd be able to do short of knocking his boyfriend out to keep him from adlibbing distinctive lines that would alert Flash not only to Pinchot's puppet-like state, but also tip him off about who the puppet master was. Piper's lines were designed to make it seem like Pinchot really believed what he was saying.

But then he'd gone and resisted the hypnotism, actually to the point of getting up and leaving! Piper had been so angry…all that work, weeks of tinkering with a pipe half the size of a hearing aid so he could hide it in Pinchot's ridiculous hair, all finished only two or three pranks in. With what remaining sway he had over the mayor, he'd decided to step the game up a notch and go for all out villainy instead of just being a pain in the ass.

"I really just tried to kill the mayor," Piper said, realization of his actions starting to sink in. "Oh God…I tried to kill someone! Oh God. Oh God. Oh shit, what's wrong with me?"

He felt like he was going to throw up. He'd never been _that_ kind of villain, never. He was a gimmick thief. An annoyance and an embarrassment for Flash when he could be, but he wasn't a murderer.

When James finally ventured into the hideout, it was to find Piper curled up under a control panel hugging his knees and rocking back and forth.

"Pookie?"

Piper answered with a sob. James crawled under the panel and cradled Piper in his arms. "It's okay Piper. I'm here. It's okay."

"James you n-need to get me to jail. I can't-I shouldn't-please, you've got to help me."

"You're not going to jail. It's okay, you're fine. I promise. Just come home with me, we'll get changed and just spend the night relaxing, okay? Don't think about work. You'll be fine."

"James, I tried to-"

"Ssh." James was wearing a particularly forced smile. "You didn't do anything except wreck a plane. I was watching and Flash cleared it, _like you knew he would_."

"Like I…" It wasn't so hard to convince himself that was true.

"You were just being a pain in the ass, just like you said the other day. Right Pookie?" James insisted.

"Y-yeah. Just…just shaking things up. You're right. Of course you're right…I just need a night off to relax a little."

James kissed him. "Course that's all you need. C'mon, if we hurry we can swing by the pet store and grab some new toys for JJ. Maybe get him a companion…?"

Piper smiled weakly. "That sounds good, actually."

* * *

James spent the rest of the night distracting Piper from his problems, and in the process almost convinced himself everything really was fine. They had a fantastic shopping spree at the mall, James cooked dinner, they played Tetris and watched a VHS of cartoon opera spoofs, and everything felt exactly how it should have.

Until they went to sleep. Piper curled up in the blankets and zonked right out, but James couldn't fall asleep. He kept staring at Piper, waiting for him to sneak out of bed and enact another horrible stage in his 'master plan'.

He'd tried to kill someone. Piper had honest to god hypnotized the mayor into his private plane and tried to get him to crash it, repeatedly, until Flash had saved him.

James finally slipped out of bed, went out to the living room and started pacing.

He knew real death traps weren't Piper's thing. They'd talked about it more than once. 'It just must be Piper's depression…maybe he forgot the consequences of crashing somebody's plane into a golf course?' He'd certainly seemed horrified enough when James had found him in his base. 'Right, my baby's not a killer. He's just a little…sick, I guess.'

James resolved to do his best to keep Piper's spirits up until he got over this depressive cycle, and then maybe when Piper seemed stronger they'd talk about giving up villainy. If he was this unhappy with their life the way it was, James was sure he could adapt to something else. He peeked into the bedroom at Piper's slumbering form and really thought about it. 'I'd give it up for him. Yeah…I could totally go legit for Hartley.'

Still though, might as well have one last hurrah.

* * *

"You took me to my base?"

"You're blindfolded!" James pouted.

Piper slipped the garish orange bandana off and handed it back to James. "I told you when we got into the car, blindfolding someone with super hearing is pretty pointless."

"Yeah, yeah. The surprise is inside." James got the picnic basket out of the backseat and followed Piper into his base. "I made you a present Pookie."

"I take it the surprise has something to do with that purple control panel that wasn't here yesterday?" Piper asked. James nodded, and motioned towards it. "James, I'm not going to just start pushing random buttons on something _you_ installed."

"It's a _present_. I love you. I'm not gonna cover you with pies or try to blow you up."

"Intentionally."

"Will you just push a button?"

"Fine." Piper hit a rectangular button and watching wide eyed as a little wooden model of the Flash was launched into the air from a hidden slat in the base. James shot it with a yo-yo, shattering it spectacularly.

"I made you a Flash shooting range," James said proudly. "Pull!"

He hit another button, this time sending a Flash at them from the ceiling. James caught it with the yo-yo from behind his back.

Piper chewed his lip, a smile on his face. He went out to the car to get some pipes and flutes.


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days passed by relatively peacefully. Piper had a tendency to sneak off to spend scattered hours at his base tinkering with flutes and making use of the shooting range (he was destroying wooden Flashes almost as quickly as James could make them) but when he wasn't off rehearsing his villainy he was at home pretending to be happy and well adjusted. And James was letting himself be fooled into thinking the worst had passed.

Piper came back from his base one afternoon wearing real clothes (he'd been wearing his costume or pajamas for the most part) and sporting a new haircut. "Ooo…someone's styling."

"Please don't tease me." Piper actually blushed. "I haven't had my hair short since I still lived with my parents. Does it look terrible?"

James walked over and ran his hand through the soft orange strands. "It's gonna take me forever to get used to it, but I like it."

"Really?"

"Mm hm. Course you're so pretty you could probably even pull off a mullet, but that's beside the point."

Piper laughed. "Come on James, no one can pull off a mullet. Well, except David Bowie."

"You're so much hotter than David Bowie."

"That is really sweet of you to say," Piper said with a smile.

"So why'd you chop your hair off anyway?"

"Kind of a whim, but really I just felt like it was time for a change."

"Oh." He wasn't sure how to take that. "Don't change too much on me Pookie. I kinda like you the way you already are."

Piper squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Don't worry James, I'm still me."

* * *

Just when James started feeling like the worst actually _was_ over, JJ died. He woke up one morning and the rat was perfectly still in his cage. He poked it a couple times, wondering if he could sneak down to the pet store and get a new one without Piper noticing. Then the bedroom door opened.

"Uh…Piper, uh-"

"His heartbeat stopped around four this morning. It's okay James, I know already."

"Oh." James turned around, ready to shower Piper with as much sympathy as he needed. "Baby, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't. It's fine. Rats…they don't live that long anyway. I'll bury him by my base this afternoon."

James frowned. Piper's voice was so even…casual. Considering the giddy glee he'd shown when he'd gotten JJ, James was expecting the rat's death to be difficult for him. Tears at the least. "Piper, are you okay?"

"I'm fine James," Piper answered, in that same flat voice. "I'm hungry though. Are you going to make breakfast or should I cook something?"

"Wasn't aware you suddenly learned how to cook," James teased. "What do you want?"

"Could you make those mango crepes again? They were interesting. I'd like to give them another chance."

"Sure. Anything you want Pookie." He gave Piper a quick kiss then went into the kitchen to start cooking.

The crepes took him awhile. The mango recipe was still definitely a work in progress. Finding a sauce he liked to top it was proving to be the most difficult part. By the time he finished two plates almost an hour had passed.

"Piper food's…done," James informed the empty apartment.

Well, the dead rat was still in the cage. JJ would have heard it if he weren't too busy being dead.

"Son of a bitch!"

* * *

"Can't believe he pulled that one over on me. Would never have god damn worked if I wasn't so…fucking stupidly in love with him. Fucking hell." James kept a profanity filled stream going under his breath as he drove a 'borrowed' vehicle to Piper's base outside Central City. He'd thrown breakfast into a Tupperware container, now sitting on the passenger seat, determined that Piper would at least eat something before he started obsessing over his villainous pursuits again.

Frankly, James wanted Piper to quit while he was ahead. That last stunt with the mayor had blown Piper's anonymity: Flash _knew_ who'd been screwing with him. The best course of action would have been to lie low, but Piper was just as determined to amp things up as James was to convince him to skip town for awhile.

He pulled onto the road to Piper's base, and felt his stomach drop to his knees when he saw the wreckage of said base strewn about the grassy field.

"No. No-no-no-no-no-no-oh God! Oh God!" James hopped out of the car and ran for the base, looking through the destroyed building for any sign of his boyfriend. "Piper! **PIPER**! Where are you? _**Piper**_!"

James quickly shredded his fingers into bloodied stubs moving shrapnel. After littering his arms and legs with mild lacerations shifting wreckage he finally satisfied himself that Piper wasn't anywhere in the hideout, but that only stilled his panic a little. Just where the hell was he then?

He went back to the apartment to put some antiseptic on his cuts, bandage the ones that needed it and wrap his fingers in gauze. Just as he finished the phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"James? What's going on with Piper?" It was Len.

"Damned if I know! I was making breakfast, and he took off, and now his hideout's all fucked up-"

"Oh kid, it's all over the news. I didn't expect-I mean I thought you'd know more than what they're saying, seeing as you're, um, well-"

"Len? Tell me what happened to my boyfriend or I'm going over to your house, dismantling your cold guns, and turning them into tinker toys," James ground out.

"Flash beat the piss out of him at his hideout and Hartley snapped. They carted him off to the crazy house. James…I'm sorry."

James chewed his lip. "No. That didn't happen. Hartley's-he's, he was getting better. He's fucked up but he's…" His voice gave out so James hung up the phone. He paced back and forth, eyes falling on the dead rat, still in his cage. A sob escaped his throat.

He turned on the TV, and flicked through until he caught a breaking news report that did in fact show Piper, dazed and a little banged up, being taken to Breedmore Mental Hospital.

"P-piper's not…he would have told me if things were, if they were _that_ bad he would have…" James dropped onto the couch, hugged his knees, and wept.

* * *

Len tried calling James a few times, but he wasn't really surprised when he didn't get an answer. He gave it an hour, then tried again, then drove past the apartment, but he finally found James' car in the parking lot of the Breedmore hospital. He walked up to the car and tapped on James' window.

James was sitting in the driver's seat staring at the front entrance of the hospital. His eyes were red rimmed, but he looked outwardly calm. He flashed a smile at Len and rolled down the window. "Hey Cold. What brings you by?"

"They wouldn't let you in for a visit, huh?"

"Threatened to call the police and threw me out on my keister. Piper's on a family only list, and it doesn't matter that his relatives aren't speaking to him either." James shrugged. "So now I'm trying to think of a way to blow up that fucking building without hurting my pookie. I haven't come up with anything useful."

"For the record, Digger and Sam already tried to spring Piper but he wouldn't move. They said he was drugged up pretty bad. At first he wasn't responding at all, but when he did address them he claimed to like it there. He was talking like the Flash had done him a favor, giving him the mental breakdown."

James frowned. "Well Hart's a bit of a masochist sometimes. I could see that amping up if he's delusional. So wait, they just left him?"

"He wouldn't leave. We're having a meeting to discuss a course of action. Between Flash killing that reverse asshole and what he just did to Piper, we figure a little deterring action on our part is necessary. I assumed you'd want in."

James glanced back towards the hospital. He let out a slow sigh. "Yeah, I'm in."

* * *

James was mostly just going through the motions for the team-up. Sam and Digger were going on about a mental patient they'd found that they wanted to kidnap and outfit as their new enforcer. It sounded like a really bad plan, but Len and Mark were going along with it, so James just kept quiet and waited to leave.

He went to his own apartment for the first time in weeks, made himself some fake identification, then swung by Piper's place, grabbed a change of clothes, and prepared for his second attempt at getting into the hospital to see his boyfriend.

One of the perks of having such a flamboyant costumed persona was how unrecognizable James became if he dressed like a normal person. He put on Piper's clothes (bland earth tones, mostly green) and voila! Instant citizen, no need for even a hood or sunglasses.

James walked into the hospital, signed the visitor's log (Jamie Rathaway, a fake cousin), got his VISITOR sticker and was shown right to Piper's room.

And discovered to his horror that Sam and Digger hadn't been exaggerating in the least.

Piper was sitting in a chair staring placidly out a window, blinking far too infrequently with a bit of drool sliding down his chin. His hair was unwashed, his skin chalky pale, and he had dark smudges under his eyes.

"I don't expect you'll get much out of your visit," The nurse said with a sigh. "The doc upped his dosage again this afternoon after something upset him. But the stimulation might help. Visiting hours end at eight, so I'll be back then, but if you want to leave earlier just check out at the nurse's station by the elevator."

"Thanks." Feeling somewhat numb, James pulled a chair up next to his boyfriend.

"Pookie?" The much loathed nickname got no response. Frowning, James smoothed back the orange bangs, trailing his fingertips down the side of Piper's face. He didn't blink. "Piper? Baby, it's me. James. Come on hon, look at me."

James took Piper's hand in his and squeezed it. He was starting to get freaked out. "So, um, I'm gonna try to swing by as often as I can until we can get you outta here. And I promise, I'm working on it. It's just hard, y'know...they do way more background checks before they release a mental patient with a criminal record into your custody than...than...Hartley, c'mon...baby, you're in there, right?"

He tilted Piper's face towards him, but still got no response.

"Piper, please say something. Come on Pookie, I'll do anything. I'll buy you fifty free range rats-I'll build a new homeless shelter, anything you want!"

James pulled Piper into a fierce hug. Limp in his arms, he smelled like disinfectant and waste, just like the damn hospital. James started sobbing. "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

James left at 8:05 and was back the next night as soon as visiting hours started. This time he brought a portable CD player and a stack of burns they'd made together. The next night he sat and read comics to himself while Piper looked out the window.

By the end of the week most of the staff had figured out who James really was. But since he left with reddened eyes every night after coaxing Hartley towards responsiveness as best he was able, they decided it wasn't worth reporting.

Rathaway was a medication-induced vegetable with a spineless doctor who was being leaned on by Central's now-jumpy mayor. If anything, James Jesse had the night staff of Breedmore hospital's sympathy.


	9. Chapter 9

After a couple months 'Jamie Rathaway' was able to convince Piper's doctors to lower his dosages. It took a whole host of disarming smiles, clever misdirection, and subtle manipulations to make them think Piper wasn't enough of a threat to need to be subdued…

And all that was undone when the mayor's assistant did a tour of Breedmore and saw Piper taking a meal in the dining room, chatting with another patient. It's not that Piper looked in the least bit threatening: he was pale and gaunt with stringy hair, a wavering smile and nervously darting eyes. But Pinchot was rightfully nervous (Piper _had_ almost gotten the guy to crash his plane into a golf course). He didn't like the idea of Piper being alert and oriented, let alone leaving his room.

So James had taken a gamble and faked up a very impressive warning from Osgood Rathaway's lawyer, informing the doctors that medicating a patient to impede functionality was in fact illegal, and that the family would take action if it continued.

The Rathaways were apparently more intimidating than the mayor, because it worked. They didn't even call James' (or rather, 'Osgood's') bluff; they just decreased his dosages. And after that James got in a few good visits with his boyfriend. He was just starting to enjoy himself a little, that knot of helpless guilt easing just enough for some hope to get through, when Piper took another turn for the worse.

* * *

James made his way to the hospital, scoped out the rec room looking for Piper, then went and found him in his room. Piper was sitting on his bed, staring out the window. "Hey Pookie."

"Hello J-, um…hello. What day is it?"

"Uh…Monday. Why?"

"I keep losing track, and I think they're lying to me. I could have sworn it was Thursday."

James sat down next to him and squeezed Piper's hand. "Nope babe, definitely Monday. I'm not lying to you. So how are you doing? I mean, other than the mild paranoia."

"It's not so mild anymore…I don't think so, anyway, but the thinking's getting fuzzy. Hard." He swallowed, and licked his lips. "I keep questioning everything. I'm not sure of…what's my name? Am I really Piper? Or Henry. Henry? Hartley? Pookie? Robert? They all mean something, I know that."

"Your name's Hartley. Uh…Piper and Pookie are nicknames. D'ya want me to call you Hartley instead? Would that help?" James asked, getting a little nervous.

Piper squinted at him. "Who are you? I keep calling you James, but that's not right either. You're not James and I'm not Piper."

"Uh, no, actually, calling me James is right…oh, uh, are you thinking of Giovanni? Maybe?"

"Not JJ though. JJ's dead."

"Y-yeah," Kay, definitely getting freaked out now. James squeezed Piper's hand again, wondering if that might anchor him. He really needed that stupid confusion to stop. "JJ was your rat. You named him after me. Babe, you know who I am, right? I'm your boyfriend. I'm crazy in love with you. You do know that, right?"

"I get confused. That's why I'm here, at least, that's what they've told me. But I think they're lying. They told me today was Thursday and it's Monday and they say I have nowhere to go, but there's a man I live with, so that's not true either. I can't remember his name. Someone died." Piper twitched, pulled his hand away from James, and went back to staring out the window.

James took a deep breath. It didn't help; his voice still shook. "H-Hartley, you live with me. I have a lot of names, but you always call me James."

Piper blinked a few times. "I can't think well anymore. If you're the man I live with then why am I still here? Why can't we go home? They want to keep me here, I know that. They say I'm sick and I know I don't think right sometimes, but it's their fault. The medicine didn't help. It made everything slow and wrong."

"Baby, I'd take you home if I could," James all but sobbed. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. "But you need to get better. I'm gonna visit you every day and help you until you can leave, okay?"

Piper stared at James and uncomprehendingly touched his face. "It's nice of you to look out for me."

James took Piper's hand and kissed it. He blinked back tears and waited for the lump in his throat to subside. "I love you Hartley. I'm _always_ going to look out for you."

Piper looked down at their hands, then slowly back up at James' face. "You're…James?"

He let out a harsh breath. "Yes, I'm James. The man you live with. You know what? I'd thought this was just a mistake, that you were having a hard time, but you _do need_ help. You are sick. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten them to decrease your meds." He stood up, needing to get out of the room and out of that damn hospital. He couldn't breathe, he needed air that wasn't tinged with disinfectant and feces.

"J-James? Don't go." Piper shot out a hand and grabbed his arm. "I don't know what's going on. You're the man I live with," He said in a firm voice. "I trust you. You'll help me, won't you?"

James pulled Piper into his arms and stroked his hair. He cringed. "Your hair looked better long." He had no idea why he was saying that. He'd thought it as soon as Piper had walked in with short hair, but there was no reason to _say_ it. "Um, Piper, no-Hartley. Of course you can trust me. I'm going to help you get better, and then we'll leave here and go home together and be happy again. God, I was so friggin' happy with you."

* * *

For the first time since Piper had been involuntarily committed to Breedmore, his devoted nightly visitor left before visiting hours ended. The staff was a bit surprised to see the 'cousin' that was really his boyfriend slipping out now that Rathaway was responsive again, but they shrugged it off.

James sat in his car for a little while, waiting for his hands to stop shaking. That visit had been about as painful as it could have been. "I don't know if I can do this," he whispered.

* * *

James was lying on Piper's bed gazing at the ceiling, trying to think about anything but his boyfriend's failing sanity while surrounding by physical memories of said boyfriend. The pillows and sheets still smelled like him. Maybe he'd move back to his own apartment.

God. They'd only fought about that like a week ago. Even though things had seemed bad then, they really weren't. In fact, it all seemed like bliss compared to this mess.

He was roused from his depressing thoughts by a knock at the front door. James rolled out of the bed, wiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand, and went to open the door.

James-the-architect was fidgeting nervously in the hallway. "Oh, um, hello. Is Piper home?"

James almost shut the door in his face. "No, he's not." Idiot.

"Oh. Will he be soon? I haven't seen him around lately. Um…is something wrong?"

"Are you really that dense or are you mocking me?"

"I'm not-"

"So you're just stupid. He didn't even use an alias and you still haven't figured out who we are?" James snapped.

Other-James frowned. "I don't…I'm not following."

"It's been all over the news. Piper is _that_ Piper. The Pied Piper. The one that was fighting the Flash and cracked up and got sent to the crazy house, and that's why he hasn't been around. God. Don't you watch TV?"

"N-no actually. I don't own…um…is he okay?" Other-James rethought his question. "Are _you_ okay?"

James wanted to yell at him, tell him what an idiot he was for not noticing that they were criminals, and only seeing all the wonderful things about Piper that _he_ missed so much right now. He was crying into James-the-architect's shoulder before he really noticed what was happening.

They spent the next couple of hours talking. The guy turned out to be a really good listener. He wasn't the 'waiting for my turn to speak' type, or the 'I'm going to solve everything with my amazing advice' type. He just listened and offered sympathy. James still hated him on principal (he was a rival, after all), but he did start hating him a little less.

* * *

The nice blond man with the handsome smile and the sad eyes, he stopped visiting. Hartley kept asking, but no one could tell him where the man went. Some of them thought he was making the man up.

So he stopped asking about the man, and the people told him he was getting better. In fact, they let him play with the sound system, and that was a mistake. He used the speakers to make all the liars stop, then he got his clothes and left to look for the nice blond man with the sad eyes. He could trust that man. He wasn't a liar.

He didn't find him though. A dead man found him instead, and he just stopped. Just stopped, because that didn't make sense.

When he was done stopping he was back in the hospital in the wrong clothes again.

He still missed the blond man. Maybe he _had_ made him up though.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, Mindy?"

"Hrn? J-James? Is that you?" Mindy said around a yawn.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me." James shifted the phone with his shoulder so that he could free a hand for suitcase zipping. "Man, am I glad you still have the same phone number. Uh, are you still living in San Francisco?"

"Yes…and you're still in Missouri, right?"

"Uh…well that's the thing, I _am still_ in Missouri, but I'd rather not be. Can I crash with you for a little bit until I find a place?"

He could just imagine her waking up a little more at that request, maybe sitting up in bed, knocking aside whatever book she'd fallen asleep reading, and reaching for her glasses. "James…is everything alright?" She finally asked, concern thick in her tone.

James sat down on the suitcase, a pained smile on his face. "Wow, you can hear through my bullshit on the phone even though we haven't seen each other in person in like four years. I'm impressed. Mindy, you're like magic."

"And you suck at conning people who know the real you. Honey, what's wrong? I thought you were happy in Central City."

"I…I was but, um…" His voice faltered. He took a second to try to recover it. "I need to run away again. I got, I got involved with someone and, um, it got really heavy, and then it sort of collapsed and I can't live here anymore."

"That must be one hell of a break up. Just what exactly did this girl do to you?" She asked. He'd bet his flying shoes she'd shifted to a white knuckled grip on the phone. Min had always been a bit of a protective mother-hen type. She'd no doubt at least be fantasizing about slapping whoever had hurt James, even though they'd broken up. God he still missed her sometimes.

"She didn't do anything wrong," James said, already crafting a modified version of the story. He'd keep in all the important details Mindy needed to counsel him, but she didn't need to know he was bi and she certainly didn't need to know he was dating someone who'd been institutionalized. "She just got sick, and I can't help her. And I know I'm weak, and I'm an asshole, but I just can't watch her hurt anymore."

"James, honey, you're not…look, it's really difficult to support someone like that, especially if no one's supporting you. Do you want me to fly out for a visit? I know I'm an ex, but I can reassure this girl that I'm no threat whatsoever, and-"

"She's in a coma." Close enough, anyway. Piper was definitely living in a different world these days.

"Jamie, you're welcome to stay with me as long as you need to."

"Thanks Min."

"But so we're clear, I can't change my routine all that much to accommodate you. I don't have a guest room so you'll be sleeping on the couch in the den. I work early, which means I'm up and moving around before six o'clock most days, and I have a pre-schooler so you're going to have to at least pretend to be a respectable citizen. He sees all adults as authority figures at this age."

"You have a kid? When'd that happen?" James asked.

"When Billy was born of course." The grin in her voice was audible.

"Oh Min, you named him Billy? That's such a boring name! I'm gonna hafta bring him a really cool toy to make up for what an awful name his unfeeling mother gave him-"

"You don't have to bring him a toy James."

"Of course I do. You guys are doing me a favor, opening your house to me. Presents for everyone! Besides, I like toy shopping. Oooh! You should let me kidnap him and take him to an amusement park! It's more fun if you have a kid with you."

"I need to hang up and get back to sleep hon. Can you tell me when I should be expecting you?"

"Yeah, I'll be in tomorrow evening. Can you pick me up at the airport around seven-ish or should I get a taxi?"

Mindy laughed. "What would you be doing if I'd said no, or if I'd moved, or if I'd changed my phone number?"

"Dunno. I didn't need to come up with a new plan since none of that happened. So are you going to pick me up?"

"Yes James, I'll pick you up."

"Cool. Bring Billy with you. I'll take you guys out to dinner."

"He's three, James. He eats at five and he's in bed by eight thirty."

"Oh. Ice cream?"

"Good night James."

"Night Min."

* * *

"Hi Jamie. Long time no see," The receptionist greeted as James signed the visitor log. He nodded at her, and continued on his way.

No surprise, Piper wasn't in the rec room. He found Piper curled up on his bed, staring at the wall. If it weren't for the wide-eyed stare, James would have thought he was asleep.

He sat down on the bed and gently touched Piper's hand where it was curled around his skeletally thin arm. "Hey Hartley." James waited, but Piper didn't say anything. "Hartley?"

"Ssh. Head hurts," Piper finally grunted.

"S-sorry. I'll talk quieter. Is that better?" James asked.

Piper twitched in a way that was almost a nod. He sat up and blinked a few times, a dazed look on his face. Some of his hair was sticking up. It had grown out just long enough to be matted and for the greasiness to be visible. Whatever meds he was currently on probably killed his appetite too, since he was visibly thinner. His eyes looked too big for his head, sunken in and lined with shadows, and the whites had an odd yellow quality. Some of the other patients had that too though; it was probably a side effect of the medication.

James quickly looked away from the scrutiny. But Piper continued trying to puzzle him out. "You're not real. The doctors said I made you up, and you said the doctors were going to help me. Go away so I can get better and then we can live together again."

"I-I'm real Piper. C'mon, you know me. I'm James. How can we live together if I'm not real?"

"I-I don't know. My thoughts get wrong sometimes, but that's what they…they said…" He trailed off to silence, then suddenly put his hands over his ears and started rocking back and forth. "Shut up! Just shut the hell up! The thoughts are wrong again but you're not fixing them by being gone and here! So just fucking pick one. _Pick one_."

"Hartley, calm down." James pried Piper's hands from his ears and hugged him, rocking back and forth with Piper's anxious movements. He thought he might be getting what Piper was thinking, and it had him crying again. "I'm sorry. It's my fault, I confused you."

"You were here and then you weren't, and when I asked they said you weren't ever here and I was confused. And since you weren't here I thought they were right. Who are you James? Are you real?"

"I'm real, but I can't-"

"Doesn't matter, I don't care." Piper snuggled close to him, and James almost gagged at the sudden onslaught of smell. "You're here now. I like that."

James cringed and tilted his head away, but he didn't let go. "Hartley-"

"You have to go, don't you?" Piper asked, clinging to James more tightly, burying his face in his chest.

"Not yet. But I do have to go soon."

"And I have to stay here? Because I'm still sick, right? I…I'm trying not to be. I'm taking my medication, and I stopped asking where you went and I'm talking in therapy. I'll be better soon, I'm sure. I think the medicine's hurting though. It makes me tired."

"But you're taking it anyway, right?" James pressed.

"Yep. It turned my pee orange," Piper looked up at him with a smile so eerily similar to his old self it made James' heart ache. "Skittle orange, almost like those pillow cases you bought."

James laughed. "Th-that can't be healthy."

Piper shrugged, then resumed his burrowing-snuggle hug. "Happens every time my meds get switched. It'll turn normal eventually."

"You sound a little more coherent now," James said, trying not to get his hopes up. "Maybe these ones are working for you." He stroked Piper's choppy hair, oblivious to the discomfort from the hygiene issues.

"M'always tired and heavy though. Some days are better than others. I don't feel fuzzy now though. Feel good, anchored." And quite suddenly, Piper pulled away from the embrace eying James quizzically. "Where'd you go, anyway?"

"I…I _was_ visiting you every day-"

"But you stopped. I need you James. You anchor me."

James chewed on his lip. "It's…it's hard. I just, I hate seeing you like this. And I really don't feel like much of an anchor. Babe, this is the first time I've seen you coherent in a month."

Piper opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and then backed up along the bed, trembling. "Y-you haven't been around. I-I'm getting better. I swear I am, and I miss you, and I want to go home." Great, now they were both crying.

"I want you to come home too, but-"

"But what?" Piper asked, looking frighteningly vulnerable.

James' resolve gave out. Would it really be any better to tell him?

"N-nevermind. Piper, calm down. Just worry about getting better. Don't even think about me. C'mere." James pulled Piper into his arms again and kissed him. Piper all but deflated, sleepily leaning into the embrace.

"I'm sorry I'm so broken. I love you," Piper whispered.

It was exceptionally close to something James had said a few months ago, when he'd had some particularly vicious falling-dreams and woken Piper at odd hours of the night for almost a week. And Piper had held him, and soothed him until he could sleep again every time. He really wanted to be strong enough to do that for Piper while he clearly needed him so much.

But he just wasn't, and he couldn't pretend to be.

He held Piper and whispered soothing things to him until he fell asleep, and then held him a little longer until visiting hours were over. Piper drifted off secure that he had his anchor again, and that whatever the doctors said, he did have a boyfriend who came and visited him from time to time, and he was loved. He could find strength in that.

Meanwhile, his anchor went back to the apartment to finish packing up. James left a note for Piper on the kitchen table.

And then the Crisis hit.

A/N: the next chapter in this series will be posted as Twenty One (the fic title, not the chapter number).


End file.
